Tag Archives: grief

Audiobook Review: Totally and Completely Fine by Elissa Sussman

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Title: Totally and Completely Fine
Author: Elissa Sussman
Narrator: Patti Murin
Publisher: Dell
Publication date: July 8, 2025
Print length: 448 pages
Audio length: 11 hours 14 minutes
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

From the bestselling author of Funny You Should Ask comes an inspiring romance novel about honoring the past, living in the present, and loving for the future.

In her small Montana hometown, Lauren Parker has assumed a few different roles: teenage hellraiser; sister of superstar Gabe Parker; and most recently, tragically widowed single mother. She’s never cared much about labels or what people thought about her, but dealing with her grief has slowly revealed that she’s become adrift in her own life.

Then she meets the devilishly handsome actor Ben Walsh on the set of her brother’s new movie. They have instant chemistry, and Lauren realizes that it has been far too long since someone has really and truly seen her. Her rebellious spirit spurs her to dive headfirst into her desire, but when a sexy encounter becomes something more, Lauren finds herself balancing old roles and new possibilities.

There’s still plenty to contend with: small-town rumors, the complications of Ben’s fame, and her daughter’s unpredictable moods. An unexpected fling seemed simple at the time—so when did everything with Ben get so complicated? And is there enough room in her life for the woman Lauren wants to be? Alternating between Lauren’s past with Spencer and her present with Ben, Totally and Completely Fine illuminates what it means to find a life-changing love and be true to oneself in the process.

Lauren Parker is not, actually, Totally and Completely Fine… although she’d very much like it if everyone would act like she is. Three years after her husband’s tragic death, she and her 13-year-old daughter Lena are muddling along, coping with daily life mainly by not talking about the big, gaping hole in their world, and just kind of pretending that everything is okay.

When Lauren’s movie star brother Gabe — a former James Bond! — invites them to spend a week visiting the set of his new movie, it seems like a good chance to get away and take a break from their small town in Montana… where everyone knows everything about everyone else, all the time. Lena seems happy enough to hang out with her uncle and witness the movie magic, and meanwhile, Lauren seems to find an instant spark with actor Ben Walsh, a Hollywood rising star and total hottie (and sweetheart), who just happens to be at least ten years younger than Lauren. But what difference does age make if it’s just a vacation fling?

In this layered look at love, grief, and second chances, Lauren’s connection to Ben is obviously not just a fling… but it takes her a while to figure that out. Meanwhile, she’s starting to realize that as much as she loves her late husband Spencer and misses him every single day, she’s actually lonely. Could she… should she… consider opening herself up to love (or at least, dating)? And if she did, what would that mean for Lena, whose rocky relationship with Lauren can’t take one more blow?

As the story unfolds, the narrative alternates between now — Lauren’s potential romance with Ben, her efforts to support and reach Lena, and her challenges living in the town where she’s grown up — and then — Lena’s history with Spencer, from childhood friendship through her rebellious teens and all the way to the marriage and early parenting years. The two halves of the story weave together effectively, with the past informing Lauren’s approach to motherhood and the possibility of getting involved with someone new.

If you’ve read Elissa Sussman’s previous books, the character names and even some scenes may ring a bell. Gabe Parker was one of the lead characters in Funny You Should Ask, the author’s 2022 novel about Hollywood, scandal, and unlikely love. I loved that book, so it wasn’t a surprise to find myself immediately caught up in Totally and Completely Fine, immersed in the characters’ lives and relationships, and delighted to see Gabe, Lauren, and others once again.

Ben is a complex, interesting love interest, and I enjoyed seeing his sensitivity and intelligence as he navigates spending time with Lauren and dealing with the ups and downs of her family and community. I really appreciated the depth of Lauren’s character development, as we come to understand the beauty of her marriage to Spencer, the pain of her loss and the unending sense of grief, the sparks of hope when it comes to finding moments of unexpected joy, and the challenges she faces in dealing with small-town gossip, preconceived ideas about who she is, and finding a way to parent a grieving child.

I really have only two small quibbles with this book. The first has to do with the sex scenes, which, to my taste, are unnecessarily graphic. Granted, this is strictly a matter of reader preference, but I didn’t need quite that many details in order to understand that there’s excellent chemistry going on here.

My second quibble is not with the plot or writing, but with the audiobook narration. Narrator Patti Murin does a fine job with most of the story, with Lauren and Lena, and — oddly — with the adult male characters with non-American accents. However, her delivery for Gabe does not work, at least not for me. Gabe is a former Bond! (Yes, he used a British accent for the role, but in his real life, he speaks like the native Montanan that he is). Gabe should sound like a leading man… but here, he comes across as kind of nasal and whiny — he’s believable as an annoying younger brother, but not as the awesome, flawed, grown-up Hollywood star that he is.

Those complaints aside, I enjoyed Totally and Completely Fine very much, and once I started, I just didn’t want to stop. I was immersed enough in these characters’ lives that I was left wanting more — and while the story wraps up quite well and has a satisfyingly definitive ending, I’d love a follow-up!

I’m now three for three with Elissa Sussman’s books! If you haven’t read anything by her yet, you really could pick any of the bunch and have a great time. Her books are funny, layered, emotional, and highly entertaining. I can’t wait for whatever she writes next!

Interested in this author? Check out my reviews of her other books:
Funny You Should Ask
Once More With Feeling

Purchase links: Amazon – Bookshop.org – Libro.fm
Disclaimer: When you make a purchase through one of these affiliate links, I may earn a small commission, at no additional cost to you.

Book Review: The Poppy Fields by Nikki Erlick

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Title: The Poppy Fields
Author: Nikki Erlick
Publisher: William Morrow
Publication date: June 17, 2025
Length: 324 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley
Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

From the New York Times bestselling author of the smash-hit The Measure—a runaway bestseller and a Read with Jenna TODAY Show pick—comes a stunning speculative story of healing, self-discovery, forgiveness, and found friendship.

What if there were a cure for the broken-hearted?

Welcome to the Poppy Fields, where there’s hope for even the most battered hearts to heal.

Here, in a remote stretch of the California desert, lies an experimental and controversial treatment center that allows those suffering from the heartache of loss to sleep through their pain…and keep on sleeping. After patients awaken from this prolonged state of slumber, they will finally be healed. But only if they’re willing to accept the potential shadowy side effects.

On a journey to this mystical destination are four very different strangers and one little dog: Ava, a book illustrator; Ray, a fireman; Sasha, an occupational therapist; Sky, a free spirit; and a friendly pup named PJ. As they attempt to make their way from the Midwest all the way to the Poppy Fields—where they hope to find Ellis, its brilliant, enigmatic founder—each of their past secrets and mysterious motivations threaten to derail their voyage.

A high-concept speculative novel about heartache, hope, and human resilience, The Poppy Fields explores the path of grief and healing, a journey at once profoundly universal and unique to every person, posing the questions: How do we heal in the wake of great loss? And how far are we willing to go in order to be healed?

If you could sleep away your grief… would you?

In this contemplative novel by Nikki Erlick, author of The Measure (which was fascinating!), scientist Ellis Jones has developed a popular but controversial treatment for grief: After a careful screening process, patients are put into a chemically induced sleep for one to two months, during which they are closely monitored and treated with a blend of hormones and medications to aid the healing process. When they awaken, they find themselves at peace with their loss, having bypassed the agonizing early stages of grief and slept their way through to acceptance.

This sleep comes with a price for about 25% of the patients: Not only do they wake free of the sharp pain of their loss, they also experience “emotional moderation” — they no longer feel any sort of emotional attachment to the person they’ve been mourning. They retain their memories of their lost loved one, but have no feelings for them, one way or another. This may sound terrible, and the odds aren’t especially great, but for the patients who feel that they can’t take one more moment of their suffering, it’s a price they’re willing to pay.

The plot of The Poppy Fields focuses on a group of travelers to Ellis’s institution (which is named — you guessed it! — the Poppy Fields). Stranded in the midwest by flight delays, they decide to drive the remaining distance together. Over the course of their journey, they shared their stories — why they feel the need to go to the Poppy Fields, what the idea of it means to them, what losses they’ve suffered, and what they’re hoping to achieve by sleeping.

Meanwhile, there are hints of trouble: Protesters are starting to appear outside the offices of the foundation that sponsors Poppy Fields, demanding that people “Stop the Sleep”. And within Poppy Fields itself, there’s division, as key staff members push for a for-profit model and facility expansion, while Ellis is committed to keeping their services free and to understanding how to stop the sleep’s side effects.

I think I went into this book with incorrect expectations. Based on the general description, I expected a darker story, with corporate twistiness, evil scientists, and some sort of dramatic revelation about the side effect. Instead, I found a very people-centered story about love, connection, grief and mourning, and how to move on after terrible loss.

Perhaps my early assumptions have a lot to do with my reaction, but I couldn’t help but feel that The Poppy Fields is a bit inconsequential. I believe it’s trying to say something deep about our memories and how we keep pieces of those we lose — but the overall story seems to veer between a road-trip-with-buddies plotline and serious introspection, and it just doesn’t gel well.

The main characters each have interesting backstories, and I enjoyed seeing them form bonds over the course of their days together in the car, although I wasn’t entirely convinced by each of their decisions by the end of the book. A random teen who tags along for part of the journey is rather pointless, and the various stops along the way provide some diverting interludes, but also mainly seem to serve to stretch the story.

As for the science and protest and corporate maneuvering, there’s not much there there. The setup seems to suggest that something dire is afoot, but that’s not actually the case. It all just kind of wraps up without a ton of fanfare.

Overall, there are some interesting ideas in The Poppy Fields, but I found it unconvincing. I think I really would have preferred the version I expected — give me evil scientists carrying out mad experiments in an isolated desert facility any day!

I loved how much there was to think about while reading The Measure, and my sense is that the author was going for something similar in this new book. However, the concept and the controversies didn’t strike me as all that exceptional. The Poppy Fields held my attention and had some solid points and good storytelling behind it, but failed to really grab my imagination. A decent piece of summer entertainment, but not much more than that.

Purchase links: Amazon – Bookshop.org – Libro.fm
Disclaimer: When you make a purchase through one of these affiliate links, I may earn a small commission, at no additional cost to you.

Book Review: The Other Side of Now by Paige Harbison

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Title: The Other Side of Now
Author: Paige Harbison
Publisher: St. Martin’s Press
Publication date: June 3, 2025
Length: 320 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

A hilarious and heartfelt novel about how loves and lives are never truly lost, for fans of Rebecca Serle and Taylor Jenkins Reid.

With a leading role on a hit TV show and a relationship with Hollywood’s latest heartthrob, Meg Bryan appears to have everything she ever wanted. But underneath the layers of makeup and hairspray, her happiness is as fake as her stage name, Lana Lord. Following a small breakdown at her thirtieth birthday party, she books an impromptu trip where she knows the grass is greener: Ireland. Specifically, the quaint little village where she and her best friend Aimee always dreamt of moving—a dream that fell apart when an accident claimed Aimee’s life a decade ago.

When Meg arrives, the people in town are so nice, treating her not as a stranger, but a friend. Except for the (extremely hot) bartender giving her the cold shoulder. Meg writes it all off as jetlag until she looks in the mirror. Her hair is no longer bleached within an inch of its life, her skin has a few natural fine lines, and her nose looks like… well, her old nose. Her real nose.

Her phone reveals hundreds of pictures of her life in this little town: with an adorable dog she doesn’t know; with the bartender who might be her (ex?) boyfriend; and at a retail job unrelated to acting. Eventually, she comes to accept that she somehow made a quantum slide into an alternate version of her life. But the most shocking realization of all? In this life, her best friend Aimee is alive and well…but wants nothing to do with Meg.

Despite her bewilderment, Meg is clear-eyed about one thing: this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to reconnect with her friend and repair what she broke. She finagles an opportunity to act in the play Aimee is writing and directing and as the project unfolds, Meg realizes that events as she remembers them may not be the only truth, and that an impossible choice looms before her.

What a great surprise! Something about the title and cover of this book caught my eye, and I requested an ARC on a whim, knowing nothing about it. The Other Side of Now turned out to be an engaging, sweet, funny look at friendship and second chances. Sure, there’s some hand-wavey alternate reality business going on, but so long as you’re not looking for concrete explanations, it’s an enjoyable journey into a woman’s incredible chance to fix some of the mistakes she’s made.

Meg Bryan (don’t laugh! She’s had to suffer enough Meg Ryan jokes throughout her life!) is the 30-year-old star (known as Lana Lord) of TV’s smash hit Brilliance (which, frankly, sounds pretty awful). She has stardom, success, and a live-in relationship with the latest Marvel star (and his abs)… and she never has a day where she feels like she can be true to herself. Or eat bread.

At the end of her rope after a miserable birthday party, Meg impetuously books a flight to Ireland, to spend a week in the small town of Avalon — home to the performing arts college she’d once hoped to attend. Way back when, she and her best friend Aimee dreamed of attending Avalon together, but when Aimee didn’t get in, Meg stayed home to attend college in Florida with her. After Aimee’s tragic death a few years later, Meg ran off to LA to forget her past and start over, and never looked back.

But now, arriving in Avalon, Meg suspects something strange is going on. The sweet little rental cottage she’s booked for the week is filled with familiar items, there’s a dog who seems to know her, and when she catches a glimpse of her own reflection, she sees her pre-Hollywood face — pre-cosmetic surgery, pre-hair coloring, pre-severe dieting. It’s who she still thinks of as her true self.

I feel a real sense of fondness for the girl in the mirror. She didn’t deserve to be changed. She didn’t deserve to be whittled into something more palatable for social media. She’s a good person who deserves carbs and sugar and whatever else makes her happy.

Even more disconcerting, when she ventures out to the local pub, a perky woman acts like they’re besties, and the very attractive bartender seems to both care for her and be mad at her. Everyone in the town knows her — but she doesn’t know them.

Eventually, Meg admits to herself that she seems to have landed in an alternate version of her own life, where she did actually attend college in Avalon and then stayed to create a life there. Even more incredible, Aimee is there too, alive and well, married and a mother — but apparently, Meg and Aimee haven’t spoken in years. Something happened, and Megan has no idea what, but she’s desperate to reconnect and try for a second chance with the friend she’s been too devastated to even mourn properly.

The set-up here is quite delicious. Meg remembers her Hollywood life, but when she tries to prove to her Avalon friend Kiera that she’s not who everyone thinks she is, she can’t. Lana Lord doesn’t exist. There’s a show called Brilliance, but someone else is the star. Aimee has lived in Avalon all along, and so has Meg. Meg has a job, a home, and an on-again/off-again love life, and it’s all wonderful… but Meg also knows that she’s somehow been dropped into a life that isn’t really her own. The more attached she becomes to this other version of her reality, the more she wants to stay forever… but she has a sneaking suspicion that it won’t last, and that she’d better make the most of this strange opportunity to be with Aimee once again.

The Other Side of Now has some very funny moments, but it has depth too. Meg seemingly had everything she’d wanted — success and fame — but clearly was terribly unhappy beneath it all. Unresolved and suppressed grief has kept Meg from truly feeling. By landing in this alternate reality, Meg finally has the chance to face her emotions, feel the pain of her loss, and come to terms with how very far she is from feeling happiness or satisfaction in her “real” life.

I enjoyed Meg as a character, and Kiera is a total hoot. Seeing Meg and Aimee work through conflict that neither of them fully understands is quite powerful, and I also loved seeing Meg struggling to figure out life in a town that she’s supposedly lived in for a long time. There are plenty of silly moments, but also quite lovely instances of connection and simple joys.

As I mentioned, this isn’t a sci-fi book, and there’s no firm answer as to the why and how of it all. To enjoy this book, we have to accept the premise and let it flow. I found it really moving, and also very entertaining — and really like Meg’s thoughts on the snippets of memories of a different life that pop up for her unexpectedly:

What if her soul knows? What if all our souls know things? What if that’s what instinct is? What if that really is the explanation for gut feelings, intuition, déjà vu, kismet, and everything else? What if it’s our souls, remembering or knowing the truths of all our other lives?

The Other Side of Now does have romance in it as well, but it’s a subplot that’s more background than foreground. The friendship with Aimee, and the loss and grief from Meg’s real life, are what truly define her experiences and fill the story with depth and emotional impact.

If you’re looking for a fast-moving summer read that’s full of whimsy and friendship, but has a serious side too, definitely consider The Other Side of Now!

Purchase links: Amazon – Bookshop.org – Libro.fm
Disclaimer: When you make a purchase through one of these affiliate links, I may earn a small commission, at no additional cost to you.

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Audiobook Review: Promise Me Sunshine by Cara Bastone

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Title: Promise Me Sunshine
Author: Cara Bastone
Narrator: Alex Finke
Publisher: Dial Press
Publication date: March 4, 2025
Print length: 416 pages
Audio length: 11 hours 11 minutes
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Audible (eARC via NetGalley)
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Grieving the loss of her best friend, a young woman’s life is turned upside down when she meets a grumpy stranger who swears he can help her live again, in this heartwarming, slow-burn romance by the author of Ready or Not

Lenny’s a bit of a mess at the moment. Ever since cancer stole away her best friend, she has been completely lost. She’s avoiding her concerned parents, the apartment she shared with her best friend, and the ever-laminated “live again” list of things she’s promised to do to survive her grief. But maybe if she acts like she has it all together, no one will notice she’s falling apart.

The only gigs she can handle right now are temporary babysitting jobs, and she just landed a great one, helping overworked, single mom Reese and her precocious daughter, Ainsley. The only catch: Ainsley’s uncle, Miles, always seems to be around, and is kind of. . . a walking version of the grumpy cat meme. Worse – he seems to be able to see right through her.

Surprisingly, Miles knows a lot about grief and he offers Lenny a proposition. He’ll help her complete everything on her “live again” list if she’ll help him connect with Ainsley and overcome his complicated relationship with Reese. Lenny doubts anything can fill the void her best friend has left behind, but between late night ferry rides, midnight ramen, and a well-placed shoulder whenever she needs it, Miles just won’t stop showing up for her. Turns out, sometimes your life has to end to find your new beginning.

After listening to Ready or Not by Cara Bastone just recently, I was more than happy to jump at the chance to listen to her newest audiobook as well. Promise Me Sunshine does not disappoint… although I think billing this book as a romance might be a bit misleading. Yes, there’s a love story — but Promise Me Sunshine is very much a book about living with grief and figuring out how to carry on after a tragic loss.

When we meet Lenny, she’s bustling uptown to start a temporary babysitting gig, caring for a cute 7-year-old while her single mom is away on a business trip. Lenny connects with Ainsley and her mom Reese right away, but she’s a bit put off by Ainsley’s uncle Miles, who shows up at the apartment as soon as she does, and seems to just plant himself there. He’s cold and judgmental, and watches Lenny like a hawk. Reese doesn’t seem to particularly want him there, but he stays, and stays, and stays.

Lenny is full of sunshine around Ainsley, but alone, it’s clear that she’s not okay. Her best friend Lou died just six months earlier, still in her 20s, after battling cancer for years. Lenny can’t bring herself to return to the Brooklyn apartment they shared, so instead, during her off hours, she rides the Staten Island ferry all night, dozing on and off until she returns to her job the next morning.

She’s annoyed by Miles’s constant hovering, but a breakthrough comes when he spots a book about grief in her backpack. He’s read it too — and he lets Lenny know that he’s been there. Miles lost his closest family members ten years earlier, and while he’s worked through the immediate pain, he understands how grief changes a person and never truly ends. He offers to be there for Lenny — someone to call in the bad moments, someone to lean on when needed. She’s skeptical at first: Why would he go to the effort for someone he barely knows? It turns out, Miles wants something in return. Ainsley and Reese are all the family he has left, and he doesn’t know how to connect with them. Lenny is such a natural with Ainsley, and Miles wants her to teach him how to build a relationship with his niece.

Lenny agrees, and also agrees to extend the weekend babysitting into a longer-term job. Miles is as good as his word. He refuses to allow Lenny to wall herself off and to continue indulging in riskier behaviors (like sleeping on the ferry all night) — he insists that she stays (for now) at the studio apartment he’s not using, that she calls him if she can’t sleep, and that she starts working her way through the “live again” list Lou left her with.

Lenny and Miles are charming together. She’s funny in an oddball, off-kilter sort of way, silly and ridiculous, yet loads of fun. He’s the typical grumpy half of the familiar grumpy-sunshine dynamic, but he’s lovable too. Yes, he comes across as judgy and walled-off and stiff, but he goes above and beyond for Lenny from day one, and it turns out that his gruff exterior hides a big, squishy heart.

Promise Me Sunshine doesn’t shy away from showing the depths of Lenny’s grief and despair. There are many terribly sad scenes where we see her absolutely fall apart — because loss is like that. Time helps, but there’s no avoiding the seemingly innocuous triggers that wait around every corner, sending Lenny into a spiral of sobs and fresh mourning at a moment’s notice. With Miles in her life, though, she’s no longer suffering alone… and eventually, Lenny is able to start appreciating the sunshine moments again.

There’s a lot to love about Promise Me Sunshine. Miles and Lenny bond right away, and their dynamic is cute in the funnier moments, heartfelt in the sadder times. As I mentioned earlier, this isn’t strictly speaking a romance novel, in my opinion — it’s contemporary fiction that includes a love story, but the romantic element isn’t the whole point. Yes, of course Miles and Lenny fall in love, but it takes the entire book for them to get there, and meanwhile, what we see is a story of two people helping each other find reasons to embrace life again.

Beyond the love story, it’s refreshing to see that Miles and Lenny don’t instantly become each others’ entire worlds. Miles encourages Lenny to make new friends, be open to connecting with people, and even, finally, stop avoiding her parents and everyone/everything who reminds her of Lou. For Lenny’s part, she helps Miles find a way to build trust and affection with Reese and Ainsley, to let go of some difficult chapters from his life, and to start planning for a future instead of living in a sort of holding pattern.

My only quibble with Promise Me Sunshine is that Miles comes across as too good to be true. He’s absolutely selfless, and devotes himself 100% to doing and being whatever Lenny needs. It’s lovely… but he seems more like an ideal than an actual person.

The audiobook narration is quite a lot of fun. Narrator Alex Finke capture’s Lenny silliness and over-the-top delivery, as well as Miles’s stilted, awkward lines in his grumpier moments. As with Ready or Not (same narrator), I sometimes found it difficult to distinguish between Lenny’s spoken lines and her internal dialogue, having to figure it out based on context or whether other characters responded to what I thought she might have said to them.

These quibbles in no way detract from the overall pleasures of listening to Promise Me Sunshine. There are plenty of funny interludes, but the heart of the story is Lenny’s heartbreaking grief over the loss of the friend she describes as her soulmate. The depth of their friendship is beautifully depicted, and Lenny’s journey feels real and powerful. Plus, the love story elements really work, and Miles and Lenny, with all their differences, click amazingly well as friends before becoming much more.

I’m happy to recommend Promise Me Sunshine… and now that I’ve had two great experiences with Cara Bastone’s books, I’ll be on the lookout for more!

Purchase links: Amazon – Bookshop.org
Disclaimer: When you make a purchase through one of these affiliate links, I may earn a small commission, at no additional cost to you.

Book Review: Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano

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Title: Dear Edward
Author: Ann Napolitano
Publisher: The Dial Press
Publication date: January 6, 2020
Length: 340 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Purchased

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

One summer morning, twelve-year-old Edward Adler, his beloved older brother, his parents, and 183 other passengers board a flight in Newark headed for Los Angeles. Among them is a Wall Street wunderkind, a young woman coming to terms with an unexpected pregnancy, an injured vet returning from Afghanistan, a septuagenarian business tycoon, and a free-spirited woman running away from her controlling husband. And then, tragically, the plane crashes. Edward is the sole survivor.

Edward’s story captures the attention of the nation, but he struggles to find a place for himself in a world without his family. He continues to feel that a piece of him has been left in the sky, forever tied to the plane and all of his fellow passengers. But then he makes an unexpected discovery–one that will lead him to the answers of some of life’s most profound questions: When you’ve lost everything, how do find yourself? How do you discover your purpose? What does it mean not just to survive, but to truly live?

After hearing so much about this book, I finally decided to give it a try. And once I started, I simply could not put it down.

Dear Edward is a powerful, sad, emotionally gripping story about unimaginable loss and how to rebuild a life. It’s the story of Edward Adler, who at age 12 is the sole survivor of a terrible plane crash, in which he loses his parents and older brother.

Edward is immediately adopted by his aunt and uncle and brought to live with them in their New Jersey home. He recovers from his physical injuries, but the damage to his heart and mind seems insurmountable. He’s lost everything and everyone, and while surrounded by kindness and support, has to figure out how to live the rest of his life when he’s completely lost and without direction.

It doesn’t help that people around the world have fixated on him as a “miracle boy”. He’s famous, but the attention can feel toxic, and certainly isn’t good for his fragile state. Fortunately, the 12-year-old girl next door, Shay, sees him merely as a boy and a curiosity, and becomes a key to his daily struggle to survive.

In interludes between chapters, we also see the events on the flight that fateful day as, hour by hour, the people onboard move closer to their deaths. We get to know individuals, their hopes, fears, and dreams, and each time these flight scenes come up, the looming disaster feels even more tragic and inevitable.

Without saying too much about the plot itself, I’ll just say that this book is so gripping that I read it pretty much straight through. I had to know what would happen next for Edward, and on top of that, the structure of the book means that we see snippets of the flight throughout, but don’t get to the awful end of it until close to the end of the book. And while we know that the plane will in fact crash, by giving us a close-up connection to so many of the passengers, when the end comes, it hits very hard and feels like a huge blow.

The writing is sensitive and well-structured, and the weaving together of the two main story elements keeps both moving forward with intensity. I came to love Edward as a character, as well as the wonderful people who come into his life at key moments and become central to his survival.

Dear Edward is an absorbing, emotional read with a strong plot and memorable characters. Highly recommended.

Book Review: Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

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Title: Remarkably Bright Creatures
Author: Shelby Van Pelt
Publisher: Ecco
Publication date: May 3, 2022
Length: 368 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Purchased
Rating:

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

For fans of A Man Called Ove, a charming, witty and compulsively readable exploration of friendship, reckoning, and hope, tracing a widow’s unlikely connection with a giant Pacific octopus.

After Tova Sullivan’s husband died, she began working the night shift at the Sowell Bay Aquarium, mopping floors and tidying up. Keeping busy has always helped her cope, which she’s been doing since her eighteen-year-old son, Erik, mysteriously vanished on a boat in Puget Sound over thirty years ago.

Tova becomes acquainted with curmudgeonly Marcellus, a giant Pacific octopus living at the aquarium. Marcellus knows more than anyone can imagine but wouldn’t dream of lifting one of his eight arms for his human captors–until he forms a remarkable friendship with Tova.

Ever the detective, Marcellus deduces what happened the night Tova’s son disappeared. And now Marcellus must use every trick his old invertebrate body can muster to unearth the truth for her before it’s too late.

Shelby Van Pelt’s debut novel is a gentle reminder that sometimes taking a hard look at the past can help uncover a future that once felt impossible.

If I tell you that I’m recommending a book with parts narrated by an octopus, would you think I’m joking? I hope not, because I’m here to tell you that Remarkably Bright Creatures (a) has an octopus as one of its POV characters and (b) is simply too great to miss!

Remarkably Bright Creatures opens with Tova, a 70-year-old woman, a life-long resident of Sowell Bay, Washington, and a night-shift aquarium employee. Tova loves the solitude and peace she finds in lovingly cleaning every nook and cranny of the aquarium after hours, saying a quiet hello to each animal on display as she cleans the glass of their enclosures and wipes the floor.

Tova does not actually have to work for a living — she’s a widow with enough funds to living comfortably in her house and not worry about her financial situation. However, she’s also a deeply sad and lonely person. Yes, she has friends (the “Knit-Wits”) whom she gets together with each week, and the own of the local grocery store seems to have a massive (but unrequited) crush on her. For thirty years, though, Tova has been carrying the deep grief filling her heart after the death of her only son, 18-year-old Erik, in a boating accident that’s never been fully explained.

Soon after we meet Tova, we also meet Marcellus, a giant Pacific octopus who observes the world around him from within his enclosure, and who narrates the story of his captivity and his knowledge of his impending demise as he nears the end of his species’ typical lifespan. Marcellus sees all and understands everything he sees. He’s also an escape artist, letting himself out of his enclosure through the tiniest of gaps to roam the aquarium at night in search of treats (the sea cucumbers are particularly yummy, although he tries to hold back to prevent anyone starting to question why the sea cucumber population keeps decreasing).

Oh, and also? Marcellus is super funny:

IF THERE IS ONE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION HUMANS never exhaust, it is the status of their outdoor environment. And for as much as they discuss it, their incredulity is . . . well, incredible. That preposterous phrase: Can you believe this weather we’re having? How many times have I heard it? One thousand, nine hundred and ten, to be exact. One and a half times a day, on average. Tell me again about the intelligence of humans. They cannot even manage to comprehend predictable meteorological events.

When Tova and Marcellus cross paths on one of his midnight adventures, they connect and seem to understand one another. While Tova can only wonder whether what she picks up from him is real or just something she imagines, we know from Marcellus’s POV chapters that he knows much more than Tova could dream of, including some key facts about Erik’s disappearance.

As the story progresses, more characters are introduced… including Cameron, a 30-year-old man who’s been rootless and unable to stick with anything in his life, ever since being abandoned by his mother as a young child. When he stumbles upon a lead that might just help him identify his biological father, he hits the road for Sowell Bay, where his path becomes entwined with that of Tova and Marcellus.

Does this sounds weird to you? Yes, Marcellus is a very unusual narrator — but at its heart, Remarkably Bright Creatures is about connection, family, and love. Tova is a tough character in some ways, so entrenched in her ways, so determined to keep herself apart from others and not let herself be touched by other people’s care or warmth. Yet we see throughout the book how her pain and loss have informed the rest of her life, so even though she has good memories of her life with her late husband, the shadow of her son’s death has darkened every moment since.

I loved seeing Tova’s interactions with Marcellus, and how just that little bit of understanding that passes between them enables her to open up to life once more. The story of Cameron’s search for his father is amusing, but the outcome is obvious from the start, so while I enjoyed some of his misadventures, parts seemed to take slightly too long to get resolved.

That’s really just a minor quibble. Overall, I loved the freshness of the viewpoints in this story, and the lovely sense of heart and connection that lies underneath the action. The characters are memorable, the storytelling is lovely (and has plenty of funny moments to balance out the sadness), and the book ends with a very satisfying wrap-up.

I really enjoyed Remarkably Bright Creatures, and absolutely recommend it.

Book Review: One Italian Summer by Rebecca Serle

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Title: One Italian Summer
Author: Rebecca Serle
Publisher: Atria
Publication date: March 1, 2022
Length: 272 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Review copy via NetGalley
Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

When Katy’s mother dies, she is left reeling. Carol wasn’t just Katy’s mom, but her best friend and first phone call. She had all the answers and now, when Katy needs her the most, she is gone. To make matters worse, their planned mother-daughter trip of a lifetime looms: two weeks in Positano, the magical town Carol spent the summer right before she met Katy’s father. Katy has been waiting years for Carol to take her, and now she is faced with embarking on the adventure alone.

But as soon as she steps foot on the Amalfi Coast, Katy begins to feel her mother’s spirit. Buoyed by the stunning waters, beautiful cliffsides, delightful residents, and, of course, delectable food, Katy feels herself coming back to life.

And then Carol appears—in the flesh, healthy, sun-tanned, and thirty years old. Katy doesn’t understand what is happening, or how—all she can focus on is that she has somehow, impossibly, gotten her mother back. Over the course of one Italian summer, Katy gets to know Carol, not as her mother, but as the young woman before her. She is not exactly who Katy imagined she might be, however, and soon Katy must reconcile the mother who knew everything with the young woman who does not yet have a clue.

When Katy’s mother dies, Katy is wrecked — which is completely to be expected. She reflects on how her mother was her person, the one she turned to for everything, who knew her better than anyone.

My mother, you see, is the great love of my life. She is the great love of my life, and I have lost her.

Beyond that, she also relied on her mother for everything, even as an adult. Carol knew how to do everything well — cooking, decorating, planning, socializing, running a life — and as Katy acknowledges to herself throughout the book, because she had Carol at the center of her life, she never really learned how to do much of anything without her.

How could she do this to me? How could she tell me year over year that it was okay, that I didn’t need to know, that I didn’t need to have all the answers, because I had her? How could she make herself so indispensible, so much a part of my life, my very heart — so woven into the fabric of who I am — only to leave? Didn’t she know? Didn’t she know that one day I’d be left without her?

This is problematic in a lot of ways, not least because Katy has been married for years. She and Eric met and fell in love in college, got married, and bought a house just 15 minutes away from Katy’s parents. Carol’s advice and involvement has been central to their marriage as well. Katy just doesn’t know who she is without her mother, and in the months leading up to Carol’s death, everything falls apart, to the point that Katy tells Eric that she’s done with their marriage.

Going to Italy on what was supposed to be the ultimate mother-daughter trip, mere weeks after Carol’s death, is an emotionally momentous undertaking for Katy. They’d always dreamed of going together, so Carol could show Katy the place that meant so much to her as a young woman. Arriving on her own, Katy is immediately wowed by the beauty of Positano, and settles in to soak up the surroundings and try to create one more connection with her mother.

But as the synopsis says, as Katy sets out the next day, she meets a woman in the hotel lobby who is all too familiar: It’s Carol, at age 30 — living in Positano, carefree, beautiful, and without a clue as to Katy’s identity. Once she recovers from the shock, Katy is determined to take this strange opportunity to know her mother in a whole new way, and the women strike up a friendship.

Meanwhile, Katy also explores Positano, meeting people, experiencing the sun, the food, and the sea, and developing a connection to an attractive man she meets at her hotel. As the days pass, she balances her time with Carol and Adam, and delves deeper into her own feelings about where she is in her life and what might come next.

That’s a lot of synopsis, so I’ll hit pause and share some thoughts.

There’s a lot to love about One Italian Summer… and seriously, where do I sign up for this exact trip to Italy? I want to stay in that specific hotel, meet those people, eat that food, go to those beaches. Now. It all sounds incredibly gorgeous and delicious and amazing.

But…

I have a lot of “buts” about this book.

Carol and Katy’s mother-daughter relationship is beautiful in many ways. They love each other and are completely devoted to one another, and that’s lovely. But the more we learn, the less healthy it seems. Carol is too central to Katy’s life — everything she has or does seems connected back to Carol in some way, and even her marriage to Eric keeps Katy’s parents, especially Carol, firmly at its center. Even small-ish things, like why they never actually cook — it’s because their home-cooked meals always happen at Carol’s house, and Carol never taught anyone in her life, Katy or her own husband, to manage without her.

Now, as for central concept of this novel, in which Katy encounters Carol as a younger woman…

There are hints (like the selection of books on the hotel’s shelves) that Katy is somehow spending time 30 years in the past, but it takes her an awfully long time to figure that part out. She just accepts Carol’s presence and doesn’t think much further about it, although it’s pretty obvious to the reader. (Aha, so that’s why Adam has never heard of the movie Jurassic Park and she can’t reach Eric when she tries to call him!)

Katy just accepts that she’ll be able to spend time with Carol as a gift, and that’s that. Yet, Carol has her own life in Positano, which means that Katy has plenty of time on her own too. She follows the itinerary that real-world Carol created for the two of them and connects to her mother’s memory through what she experiences, but she also has plenty of time for Adam.

Spoilers ahead! Does it count as cheating if it happens 30 years in the past in a weird alternate pocket of time? I’d say yes, but it doesn’t seem to trouble Katy all that much. And it’s not at all clear whether what happens during this Italian vacation will carry through to Katy’s present. Is there a man out there who has memories of the young woman he had a fling with in Italy all those years earlier?

Beyond the Adam storyline — well, it’s nice that Katy gets both closure and a new perspective on who her mother was. As she spends time with young Carol, she learns new facts about her mother’s life that she’d never known, and also has time to understand that Carol always had parts of her life that didn’t revolve around Katy.

In some ways, it’s a moving look at loss and grieving, and how the loss of a loved one can force someone to take a fresh look at everything in their life. There are some moments of reflection that I found startlingly real and emotionally honest.

But…

Bottom line, this book makes no sense. I can’t go with a storyline that takes place “because magic” without any explanation whatsoever. Why is Katy experiencing this time 30 years in the past? How is she able to be there? Why did it start and why did it end?

Your guess is as good as mine. There’s no explanation. And I can’t just shrug and accept it as just the way things happened — not when it’s clear that this wasn’t a dream state or alternate reality or coma-dream or even a time slip in the fabric of the world. It just happens, and then it stops, and Katy just accepts it all.

On a more positive note, the author has a lovely way with words, bringing tastes and sounds and smells to life quite vividly. The Italy of Katy’s visit is beautifully described and presented — it’s an immersive experience just reading about it.

I’ve enjoyed Rebecca Serle’s two other books for adults (The Dinner List and In Five Years), although even in both of these, there’s a magical element that happens to advance the plot but has no real explanation. Somehow, this aspect bothered me much more in One Italian Summer than it did in the other books.

Overall, there are a lot of enjoyable aspects to this book, but the plot holes kept me from fully engaging. On top of that, what I initially felt was an incredibly beautiful mother-daughter relationship was revealed to be less healthy than I first imagined, and that left a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth. Still, it’s a quick and often emotionally engaging read, and I do appreciate the author’s ability to cast a spell with her writing. I’ll look forward to whatever she writes next.

Audiobook Review: This Close to Okay by Leesa Cross-Smith

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Title: This Close to Okay
Author: Leesa Cross-Smith
Narrators: Kamali Minter, Zeno Robinson
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: February 2, 2021
Print length: 311 pages
Audiobook length: 9 hours, 46 minutes
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Library
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

From the award-winning Southern writer who Roxane Gay calls “a consummate storyteller” comes a cathartic novel about the life-changing weekend shared between two strangers: a therapist and the man she prevents from ending his life.

On a rainy October night in Kentucky, recently divorced therapist Tallie Clark is on her way home from work when she spots a man precariously standing on the side of a bridge. Without a second thought, Tallie pulls over and jumps out of the car into the pouring rain. She convinces the man to join her for a cup of coffee, and he eventually agrees to come back to her house, where he finally shares his name: Emmett.

Over the course of the emotionally charged weekend that follows, Tallie makes it her mission to provide a safe space for Emmett, though she hesitates to confess that this is also her day job. But what she doesn’t realize is that he’s not the only one who needs healing — and she’s not the only one with secrets.

Alternating between Tallie and Emmett’s perspectives as they inch closer to the truth of what brought Emmett to the bridge’s edge — as well as the hard truths Tallie has been grappling with in her own life — This Close to Okay is a vibrant, powerful story of two strangers brought together by wild chance at the moment they needed each other most.

In this moving, surprising, dual-narrator novel, we meet two damaged souls who find solace and hope through their accidental meeting.

When Tallie sees a man poised to jump off a bridge, she immediately tries to intervene, gently using her words and music to encourage him back from the brink, then continuing to provide companionship and support in the hours and days that follow. She doesn’t approach Emmett as a therapist, although she is one — instead, she offers caring and compassion, as well as shelter and a safe space.

Over the course of their time together, each slowly opens up to the other, but at their own pace, and keeping secrets even while sharing hopes, fears, and past hurts. They each also cross boundaries, aware of infringing on the other’s privacy but somehow justifying this through good intentions.

The book shifts point-of-view between Tallie and Emmett, and through their alternating chapters, we learn about the events in their lives that brought them both to this particular moment. Each has been through hurts and suffering, and while Tallie shares the pain of her husband’s betrayal and subsequent divorce, Emmett keeps his past largely to himself, hiding the source of his desperation and suicidal impulses, and even hiding his true identity.

The beauty of This Close to Okay is in getting to know these complex characters and seeing how the different struggles in their lives have contributed to where they are as the story opens. It’s lovely to see their interactions and how they each affect the other in deep and meaningful ways. The story is not action-packed — it’s really about the characters and how they connect, and that’s probably why it resonates on such an emotional level.

Sure, there are some elements that I could quibble with. Tallie takes a huge risk by bringing Emmett into her life and into her home, and it’s hard to believe that a modern woman in this day and age would potentially compromise her own safety in such a dramatic way. Yes, Emmett is trustworthy and respectful and safe, but she really couldn’t have known that up front, could she? Likewise, I have a bone to pick with Tallie’s decision to not share with Emmett that she’s a therapist. She knows that her professional obligation toward an official client would be to refer him for treatment and report an attempted suicide, but she rationalizes that Emmett is not her client as part of her decision to just spend time with him and offer him a place to rest and regroup. She has compassionate impulses, and since this is a novel, it all works out, but looking in from the outside, this feels like a very risky and unprofessional path to take.

The audiobook made for a great listening experience. I appreciated the expressiveness of the two narrators and how they voiced the characters and the more interior moments. I did struggle a bit with the male narrator’s lower vocal register, which made it hard for me to catch all the words clearly, but that may be more about my own hearing than the actual narration!

Overall, I did love This Close to Okay. Despite my disagreement with some of the plot points, I was completely caught up in the story, and felt my heart break over and over again as more is revealed about Emmett’s painful past. I will say as well that I was pleasantly surprised that this book does not fall into the common romantic tropes that pop up so often in contemporary fiction. The characters’ development and well-being is the point, and the plot supports this very well without making romantic entanglement the dominant focus.

Side note: I always love when fictional characters are revealed to share some of my geeky loves… so when Tallie pulls her copy of Prisoner of Azkaban off the shelf to read to Emmett, I just about swooned!

This Close to Okay is a moving story about two sympathetic people, and I truly enjoyed getting to know each of them. By the end, I felt very invested in their lives, and loved how beautifully the author conveyed their journeys.

Highly recommended!

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Book Review: Beach Read by Emily Henry

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Title: Beach Read
Author: Emily Henry
Publisher: Berkley
Publication date: May 19, 2020
Length: 384 pages
Genre: Contemporary romance
Source: Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley
Rating:

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

A romance writer who no longer believes in love and a literary writer stuck in a rut engage in a summer-long challenge that may just upend everything they believe about happily ever afters.

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They’re polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they’re living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer’s block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She’ll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he’ll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really. 

Sometimes you pick up a book and it’s exactly what you need in that moment. And for me, Beach Read was it this week — as evidenced by the fact that I read it in about a day and a half, ignoring the real-world obligations nagging for my attention.

Beach Read is sweet and uplifting, but also a little heavier than you might guess from the title and the cover.

Main character January is a young, successful romance writer. She’s known for her swoony love stories and happy ending. However, she’s been thrown for a loop, and isn’t able to summon her inner belief in the power of true love — and her looming book deadline isn’t helping at all.

January’s father recently died, so she’s dealing with the loss of her incredible dad — but on top of that, at his funeral, she met That Woman. It turns out that her father had an on-again, off-again mistress for years, including during her mother’s battle with cancer. January is shattered and angry, and feels like her foundation has been swept out from under her. After all, it was her parent’s shining love story that taught her to believe in love-story-quality love — and if that was all a lie, then what is she supposed to believe? And how can she possibly write a believable love story when she’s not sure her heart will ever be in it again?

January’s father left her a beach-side bungalow in a small-town in Michigan. With her book deadline looming and a serious lack of funds, she decides to spend her summer writing at the cottage, while also cleaning, sorting, and getting it ready for sale. And the fact that this was her father’s place with That Woman is not helping in the slightest.

Also distracting is her next door neightbor, who turns out to be the revered young writer Augustus Everett — whom January knew as Gus back in their college days, when they were fierce competitors, and shared one steamy “almost” at a party.

As January and Gus reconnect, initially with resentment and animosity, they realize they’re in the same boat when it comes to lack of inspiration and dire writer’s block. Gus is battling his own inner demons and past hurts, and he can’t seem to make progress on his next book.

In the book’s central (cute) twist, they challenge each other to write each other’s genres. Gus has always mocked January’s belief in the HEA — now, he needs to find a way to see the possibility of happiness, rather than going for the gloomy conclusion. And January needs to be open to grim reality and the idea that love isn’t always perfect, that messiness and secrets and hard choices are parts of life, and that fairy tales never (rarely) come true.

Beach Read is so much fun, start to finish, but it’s not only sunshine and swooning. (But yes, there is swoon-worthy romance, to be sure.) The author has a lot to say about families and love, how the ideals of childhood can be tarnished by the realities of adulthood, how families can hurt one another but can also save one another in all sorts of different ways… and how true love doesn’t mean no one ever makes a mistakes or hurts the other person, and that sometimes love takes work, compromise, and second chances.

January and Gus have a great chemistry together, and I loved the scenes of them writing in their respective cottages, but communicating through notes held up to the window. It’s adorable — so much better than texting!

The small-town setting is charming, and there’s a wonderful bookstore, so that’s a plus! One of the central plot elements of the book is Gus and January’s series of field trips/dates, where each exposes the other to something that feels related to their own writing style and genre. So, line dancing alternates with going to the site of a tragic fire at a cult compound… and all their excursions bring them closer to each other and also give them each different insights into their own process and emotions.

The writing is cheerful and light, but the author doesn’t shy away from harder emotions. January and Gus both have baggage to deal with, and we do see their pain and confusion as they deal with the events in their lives and try to move forward.

Bonus points too for a terrific female friendship, which helps January realize that true love can also be the bond between two lifelong friends who have each other’s backs and love unconditionally.

Falling’s the part that takes your breath away. It’s the part when you can’t believe the person standing in front of you both exists and happened to wander into your path. It’s supposed to make you feel lucky to be alive, exactly when and where you are.

Beach Read is a wonderful depiction of falling in love, but also a moving exploration of the messiness that comes with growing up and facing real life and accepting the fact that parents aren’t always perfect.

As I mentioned at the start, this book came into my hands right when I needed it, and I enjoyed every minute. A great summer reading choice — and also a great way to escape our current isolation through fiction!

Book Review: The Two Lives of Lydia Bird by Josie Silver

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Title: The Two Lives of Lydia Bird
Author: Josie Silver
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Publication date: March 3, 2020
Length: 432 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

In this next captivating love story from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of One Day in December, a young woman is reunited with her late fiancé in a parallel life. But is this happy ending the one she really wants?

Lydia and Freddie. Freddie and Lydia. They’d been together for more than a decade, and Lydia thought their love was indestructible.

But she was wrong. On her twenty-eighth birthday, Freddie died in a car accident.

So now it’s just Lydia, and all she wants to do is hide indoors and sob until her eyes fall out. But Lydia knows that Freddie would want her to try to live fully, happily, even without him. So, enlisting the help of his best friend, Jonah, and her sister, Elle, she takes her first tentative steps into the world, open to life–and perhaps even love–again.

But then something inexplicable happens that gives her another chance at her old life with Freddie. A life where none of the tragic events of the past few months have happened.

Lydia is pulled again and again across the doorway of her past, living two lives, impossibly, at once. But there’s an emotional toll to returning to a world where Freddie, alive, still owns her heart. Because there’s someone in her new life, her real life, who wants her to stay.

Written with Josie Silver’s trademark warmth and wit, The Two Lives of Lydia Bird is a powerful and thrilling love story about the what-ifs that arise at life’s crossroads, and what happens when one woman is given a miraculous chance to answer them.

The Two Lives of Lydia Bird starts with tragedy. Driving to Lydia’s birthday dinner, Freddie is in a car accident that takes his life. Lydia’s world is destroyed. She and Freddie, engaged to be married, have been together for over ten years, really ever since meeting as teens. He was her first and only love… and then suddenly, he was gone.

Lydia is left to pick up the pieces of her shattered world, and where this book excels is in its depiction of grief and loss. Lydia’s pain is not pretty or dignified — she’s a mess, and she remains a mess for a long, long time. Grief doesn’t have a timetable. There’s no quick fix or set number of months that the mourning should take. Lydia simply has to go through it, and fortunately, she has an incredibly giving and loving sister by her side every step of the way.

Lydia also has a secret: The unusual pink pills that her mother gave her to help her sleep have a decidedly odd effect: When she takes a pill and falls asleep, Lydia is pulled into a different version of her own life, one in which the accident never happened and Freddie is very much alive. Soon, Lydia is torn between her bleak waking world and the promise of escape into a world that she knows can’t be real — but it’s a world where she gets time with Freddie, gets to plan their wedding and enjoy their promised life together.

Thankfully, there’s no hint that this alternate world is a real option for Lydia. Even while experiencing this time with Freddie, she’s fully aware of what’s happened in her real life, so all the happy moments are overshadowed for her by the knowledge that Freddie isn’t really alive in her world.

Meanwhile, we spend much more time with Lydia in her waking life than asleep, which I appreciated. She has no choice but to begin the long, slow road forward without Freddie, finding a way to keep going without the love of her life.

There’s a lot to like about this book:

  • Lydia has a meaningful and rewarding job working in a community center, which hits very close to home for me and really warmed my heart. It’s refreshing to read about someone with a job that’s important but not at all corporate — a job that’s all about creating programming for the community to bring joy to other people.
  • Her mother is odd, but still supportive, and her sister Elle is the absolute best. She and her husband have Lydia’s back, fuss over her a lot, but also give her space to figure out her own life.
  • Unlike some other books I’ve read, at no point does anything negative about Freddie come to light. I’ve read too many versions of stories where the dearly departed turns out to be somewhat of an ass or a liar or in some other way not really worth the tears. Nope, not here. Even though Lydia eventually becomes open to the possibility of love again, there’s never any doubt that had Freddie lived, they would have had a happy life together.

Of course, I had some quibbles as well:

(And I suppose I should say… some of these are a little bit spoilery…)

  • The sci-fi geek in me (never too far below the surface) wants to know what was in those pink pills! Even though Lydia eventually acknowledges that maybe it was the pills and maybe it was just her brain’s way of helping her deal with her loss, my sci-fi brain wanted a real explanation! Was she in an alternate reality? Was it all in her mind? If it was all in her mind, I have to say, it was a very neatly constructed and chronologically sound set of delusions. (I would have preferred either no alternate reality story, or one that actually happens in a fully fleshed out way — again, sci-fi geek here!)
  • When Lydia picks herself up and goes off to Croatia on a moment’s notice, then stays there for nine weeks to rest and recuperate and find herself, I just could not suspend my disbelief. She goes off with no plan, happens to be approached by a cab driver who happens to have a seaside restaurant and room to rent with his wife, who happens to be smart and supportive and exactly what Lydia needs. Really? What are the odds? Because I’m willing to bet that in real life, the tourist showing up at an airport in a foreign country and trusting someone to drive her to a remote place with no hesitation… is maybe not going to return in one piece. Honestly, this piece of the story made no sense to me.
  • I’m really glad that Lydia grew and changed over the course of the book, which covers close to two years in her life — but part of how I was aware of how much she’d changed was by her constantly thinking about how much she’d changed. Um… show, don’t tell?

Quibbles, aside, I did actually enjoy this book very much, and especially appreciated how well the author conveyed Lydia’s suffering and the emotional rollercoaster she experiences during her mourning process.

You don’t get over losing someone you love in six months or two years or twenty, but you do have to find a way to carry on living without feeling as if everything that comes afterward is second best.

Lydia is flawed and human and feels real. She’s miserable and sad until, eventually, she learns to also start feeling happy again, although in a different way than before. I really liked her as a person, and felt that her journey never sugarcoated the pain of her huge loss. At some point, she finds new ways to participate in life, with her family and friends and work, and it’s pretty glorious to see Lydia find hope again after it all seems gone.

I guess I could have lived without the alternate world pieces of the story, but overall, I liked The Two Lives of Lydia Bird very much, and would happily recommend it to anyone looking for a slightly different take on love and finding meaning in life.