Book Review: Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

 

Title: Before the Coffee Gets Cold
Author: Toshikazu Kawaguchi
Publisher: Picador
Publication date: September 19, 2019
Length: 213 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Purchased
Rating:

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

What would you change if you could go back in time?

In a small back alley in Tokyo, there is a café which has been serving carefully brewed coffee for more than one hundred years. But this coffee shop offers its customers a unique experience: the chance to travel back in time.

In Before the Coffee Gets Cold, we meet four visitors, each of whom is hoping to make use of the café’s time-travelling offer, in order to: confront the man who left them, receive a letter from their husband whose memory has been taken by early onset Alzheimer’s, to see their sister one last time, and to meet the daughter they never got the chance to know.

But the journey into the past does not come without risks: customers must sit in a particular seat, they cannot leave the café, and finally, they must return to the present before the coffee gets cold . . .

Toshikazu Kawaguchi’s beautiful, moving story explores the age-old question: what would you change if you could travel back in time? More importantly, who would you want to meet, maybe for one last time?

I’ve been hearing about Before the Coffee Gets Cold for years now, and finally made the time to sit and enjoy this cozy, sweet tale.

The setup is simple: A tiny basement cafe in Tokyo has only three tables plus a counter, has three clocks on the wall that show different times (although no one knows why), and is the focus of an urban legend that just happens to be true:

If you sit in a particular chair and focus on a time you want to visit, you can travel to the past — but you can’t leave that chair, nothing you do actually changes the future, and you have to finish your coffee before it gets cold, at which point you return to the present.

For many people, the rules are deal-breakers. What’s the point of going back in time if you can’t actually change anything? But as we see through the four chapters of this slim book, each of which highlights a different person’s reason for time traveling, there’s much to be gained with an open heart and open mind.

At just over 200 pages, Before the Coffee Gets Cold is a fast read, and it felt easy and natural to read it pretty much straight through. The storyline is very calm — there’s little action here; rather, it’s a book about connections, emotions, and getting the chance to say the things we wish we’d said in the first place.

Without going into details about the characters and their particular stories, I’ll just say that the cafe staff and its regular visitors have simple yet strong connections, and as their stories unfold, the emotional impact builds as well.

Before the Coffee Gets Cold is a lovely, sweet reading experience — a warm hug of a book that I recommend enjoying on a day when you especially need something bright and uplifting.

Since Before the Coffee Gets Cold was published, four more books have been added to the series. Before the Coffee Gets Cold feels very complete on its own, so while I’d like to eventually read more of these books — assuming the rest will be as lovely as the first! — I feel like I can take my time and pick up the next book on a whim, on a day when I need it.

Short fiction: The Answer is No by Fredrik Backman

 

Title: The Answer is No
Author: Fredrik Backman
Publisher: Amazon Original Stories
Publication date: December 1, 2024
Length: 68 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Purchased
Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

In a hilarious short story from New York Times bestselling author Fredrik Backman, the absurdities of modern life cause one man’s solitary world to spin suddenly, and comically, out of control.

Lucas knows the perfect night entails just three things: video games, wine, and pad thai. Peanuts are a must! Other people? Not so much. Why complicate things when he’s happy alone?

Then one day the apartment board, a vexing trio of authority, rings his doorbell. And Lucas’s solitude takes a startling hike. They demand to see his frying pan. Someone left one next to the recycling room overnight, and instead of removing the errant object, as Lucas suggests, they insist on finding the guilty party. But their plan backfires. Colossally.

Told in Fredrik Backman’s singular witty style with sharply drawn characters and relatable antics, The Answer Is No is a laugh-out-loud portrait of a man struggling to keep to himself in a world that won’t leave him alone.

A new story from Fredrik Backman is practically guaranteed to be a joy to read… so does The Answer is No succeed? The answer is yes!

This funny, quirky tale is about a man who wants the world to leave him alone, but the world doesn’t seem to get the message. He’s perfectly happy, until the frying pan incident spirals out of control, bringing visitor after visitor to his door.

It’s a cute, clever story with a simple plot. What makes it a gem is Backman’s writing, of course. Here are a few choice snippets:

Lucas is happy. This is a very provoking thing to the world. Because people aren’t supposed to be happy, they’re only supposed to want to be happy, because how otherwise are you supposed to be able to sell things to them?

Just to be clear: It’s not that Lucas hates other people. He just really enjoys being where other people aren’t. He works well in groups as long as it’s groups of fewer than two people.

“During the night someone left an old frying pan on the ground outside the recycling room!” the first head explains, as if this were the beginning of a detective novel where a dead body’s been found in a lake, and a divorced police officer from the big city who has just returned to her childhood home is drawn into an investigation that forces her to confront her past, but which may or may not also give her the chance to fall in love with a man in a flannel shirt who has a golden retriever and a charming down-to-earth view of life.

Lucas opens the door with the defeated manner of a sausage that dressed itself up as a carrot to avoid being eaten by a bear, only to be found by a rabbit.

The Answer is No is available now as a First Reads pick for Amazon Prime subscribers, and will be released officially as of December 1st. It’s a sweet, cheery treat — and obviously, a must-read for Fredrik Backman fans!

Book Review: The Beach Trap by Ali Brady

Title: The Beach Trap
Author: Ali Brady
Publisher: Berkley
Publication date: June 14, 2022
Length: 384 pages
Genre: Contemporary fiction / romance
Source: Library
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Two best friends torn apart by a life-altering secret. They have one summer to set the record straight.

When twelve-year-olds Kat Steiner and Blake O’Neill meet at Camp Chickawah, they have an instant connection. But everything falls apart when they learn they’re not just best friends—they’re also half-sisters. Confused and betrayed, their friendship instantly crumbles.

Fifteen years later when their father dies suddenly, Kat and Blake discover he’s left them a joint inheritance: the family beach house in Destin, Florida. The two sisters are instantly at odds. Blake, who has recently been demoted from regular nanny to dog nanny, wants to sell the house, while social media influencer Kat is desperate to keep the place where she had so many happy childhood memories.

Kat and Blake reluctantly join forces to renovate the dilapidated house with the understanding that Kat will try to buy Blake out at the end of the summer. The women clash as Blake’s renovation plans conflict with Kat’s creative vision, and each sister finds herself drawn into a summer romance. As the weeks pass, the two women realize the most difficult project they face this summer will be coming to grips with their shared past, and learning how to become sisters.

I’m a sucker for books with a connection to summer camps… and from the opening chapter, when twelve-year-old besties spend a glorious summer at camp together, only to have their friendship end disastrously, I knew The Beach Trap would be a book for me.

When Blake and Kat meet at Camp Chickawah**, they become best friends right away — but when Kat’s father comes to pick her up early due to a death in the family, the girls make a shattering discovery: Kat’s dad is Blake’s dad too. Blake’s mom had been “the other woman”, and while Blake has happy childhood memories of time with her dad, that all ended when her mother died in a tragic accident, and her father never came for her. Rather than bringing the girls closer, the discovery of their half-sister status permanently drives them apart, and Kat refuses to respond to any of the letters Blake sends her in the months following camp.

**If the name Camp Chickawah seems familiar, then perhaps you’ve read the authors’ most recent book, Until Next Summer, in which the camp and its staff members take center stage. (It’s a lot of fun!)

Fifteen years later, their father has died, and his will reveals a startling bequest: He’s left the family’s Florida beach house to both his daughters, to share 50/50.

Blake is a stressed-out nanny for a wealthy family, working long hours to pay for her grandfather’s assisted living facility. Kat is a social media influencer (ugh), making enough to support herself, but not quite at a point where she can count on financial security. Blake assumes they’ll sell the beach house, or Kat can buy her out — but either way, the proceeds will help ensure that she can continue to care for her grandfather. Kat sees the beach house as a reminder of rare happy childhood memories, and wants to keep it — and also, it might make a great home reno project to enhance her feeds and help her nab a coveted corporate sponsorship.

When Blake and Kat meet at the beach house, they’re dismayed to find the place in shambles. The only way to turn it around and make it at all viable for sale is to repair, renovate, and redecorate. Kat has the funds; Blake has the time (since the family she nannies for is spending the summer in France) and the skills, thanks to the years she spent learning at her grandfather’s side. While there’s palpable tension and animosity between the two women, they know neither can move forward without the other’s cooperation, and they work out a deal. They’ll alternate weeks at the house, Blake will handle most of the actual work, and Kat will have final say on all decor decisions.

After achieving a tense détente of sorts, they move forward. As the summer progresses, and they start having to communicate and spend together, tentative connections are rebuilt. They once loved each other — who will they be to one another now?

I really enjoyed seeing Kat and Blake work their way back toward friendship, and more. Both grew up lonely; both grew up hungry for the love and attention of a distant father, who cause each one intense emotional pain in the aftermath of the big revelation years earlier. While having very different backgrounds and upbringings, Kat and Blake connect on a deeper level. It’s lovely seeing them work through the hurt and misunderstandings, and start to realize how much time they both spent blaming one another for things outside of their control.

Each woman also finds romance over the course of the summer, but one thing I really appreciate in this book (and in the other Ali Brady book I’ve read, Until Next Summer) is that romance is secondary to friendship. The romantic relationships and storylines are great, but it’s the friendship and sisterhood between Kat and Blake that drive this book and give it its emotional impact and joy.

Where The Beach Trap falls a little short for me has mainly to do with Kat’s character. Bluntly put, she’s hard to like. First off, having a social media influencer as a main character is an instant turn-off for me. (Side note — I feel like contemporary romances have a higher proportion of influencers as characters than is representative of the demographic in real life…) Kat’s whole shtick for most of the book is summed up by her tagline, “life is a fashion show”. She eventually learns to appreciate the messiness of life and what it means to connect, and revises her philosophy — but it’s a fairly quick turnaround, not entirely believable. I’m glad she ended up in a better place, but her attitude for much of the book is very hard to take.

Overall, however, I liked The Beach Trap a lot. The story moves quickly, the setting is terrific, and I loved the dynamic of these sisters finding a way to salvage the defining pain of their separate lives and find a way forward together.

I’ve now read two books by this author duo, and look forward to more! There’s one more book I haven’t read that’s currently available (The Comeback Summer), and an upcoming new book to be released in 2025 (Battle of the Bookstores). I plan to read them both!

About the authors: Ali Brady is the pen name of writing BFFs Alison Hammer and Bradeigh Godfrey. The Beach Trap is their first book together. Alison lives in Chicago and works as a VP creative director at an advertising agency. She’s the author of You and Me and Us and Little Pieces of Me. Bradeigh lives with her family in Utah, where she works as a physician. She’s the author of the psychological thriller, Imposter.

Audiobook Review: Every Summer After by Carley Fortune

Title: Every Summer After
Author: Carley Fortune
Narrators: AJ Bridel
Publisher: Berkley
Publication date: May 10, 2022
Print length: 320 pages
Audio length: 9 hours 38 minutes
Genre: Contemporary romance
Source: Library
Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

They say you can never go home again, and for Persephone Fraser, ever since she made the biggest mistake of her life a decade ago, that has felt too true. Instead of glittering summers on the lakeshore of her childhood, she spends them in a stylish apartment in the city, going out with friends, and keeping everyone a safe distance from her heart.

Until she receives the call that sends her racing back to Barry’s Bay and into the orbit of Sam Florek—the man she never thought she’d have to live without.

For six summers, through hazy afternoons on the water and warm summer nights working in his family’s restaurant and curling up together with books—medical textbooks for him and work-in-progress horror short stories for her—Percy and Sam had been inseparable. Eventually that friendship turned into something breathtakingly more, before it fell spectacularly apart.

When Percy returns to the lake for Sam’s mother’s funeral, their connection is as undeniable as it had always been. But until Percy can confront the decisions she made and the years she’s spent punishing herself for them, they’ll never know whether their love might be bigger than the biggest mistakes of their past.

Told over the course of six years and one weekend, Every Summer After is a big, sweeping nostalgic look at love and the people and choices that mark us forever.

Six summers to fall in love. One moment to fall apart. A weekend to get it right.

Book friends! I have a new romance author on my must-read list! Thanks to my recent audiobook experience with Every Summer After, I can safely say that I need to read ALL of Carley Fortune’s books.

In Every Summer After — the author’s debut — 30-year-old Persephone (Percy) Fraser is called back to the small town where she once spent ever summer, to attend the funeral of the mother of the boy she thought would always be by her side and in her life.

As a 13-year-old, Percy began spending summers in her family cabin at Barry’s Bay, next door to the Florek family, whose 13-year-old son Sam quickly became her best friend. As the years passed, Percy and Sam moved from friendship into romance, realizing that they’d had the good fortune to fall in with their soulmates at such an early age. While on different paths as their college years approached — Sam moving away for an intense premed program, Percy remaining in Toronto to study writing — they always expected to spend their lives together. Until something went very, very wrong.

Now adults, it’s been 12 years since Percy and Sam last saw one another or even spoke. Something terrible happened all those years ago — but what? As Percy arrives back in Barry’s Bay for the funeral, she’s both fearful and excited at the thought of seeing Sam again. But will he even want to see her? Can old wounds ever heal?

The book takes us back to Percy and Sam’s teen years, as chapters alternate between then and now. The “then” chapters are charming. The author’s depiction of 13-year-old friendship is sparkling and authentic, and as the two teens grow closer and begin to acknowledge deeper feelings, their dialogue, actions, and flirtation feel sweet and real. These chapters gave me The Summer I Turned Pretty vibes — not identical plotwise by any means, but just a really sweet portrait of young love, insecurities, playfulness, and teen conflict and pressure.

Meanwhile, the “now” chapters show how little Percy has gotten over Sam, despite all the years that have passed. She’s built a life and a career that seem fulfilling on the surface, but has never let anyone even close to her heart. Seeing Sam again brings all the old emotions flooding back, and he seems just as drawn to Percy as she is to him. But there are old hurts and secrets still to be unpacked, and Percy is afraid that it’s all much too late.

What can I say? I loved Every Summer After. The descriptions of the summers on the lake are so evocative of the beauty of being young and free and full of joy at everything life has to offer. There are ice cream cones and swimming, pizza parties and movies on DVD… the teen chapters are so full of nostalgia and warmth, and give off such happy vibes, even though we know that, eventually, something is going to ruin it all.

The adult chapters are harder emotionally, because Percy is clearly not okay, and whatever happened — which is only revealed in the book’s final chapters — must have been a doozy. We spend so much time seeing how much Sam and Percy love each other, so there’s a sense of dread as we get closer to the end, realizing that the bad thing, whatever it is, is coming soon.

Unlike many romance novels, the catastrophe between Sam and Percy feels believable. They’re teens, and yes, some of it has to do with poor communications, but those errors and mistaken assumptions and hurt feelings feel realistic for characters at that age. It made me very sad to realize where their relationship was heading, and we know from the start of the book that twelve years go by with no contact… but none of this feels like a contrivance for the sake of romance tropes.

Every Summer After packs an emotional punch, but includes so much joy and hope that the heartbreaking elements don’t weigh it all down. And of course, there’s the requisite HEA, but even knowing it will work out, it’s still a roller coaster until we get there.

The audiobook narration is terrific. I really appreciated how the narrator modulates her voice to reflect Percy’s age. Young Percy really does sound like a young teen, and her delivery, voice, and speech patterns are spot-on. As Percy grows up, summer after summer, her voice changes subtly as well. It’s all just so well done.

I truly enjoyed every moment of listening to Every Summer After, and immediately put myself on the hold list for the author’s other two available novels. Based on Every Summer After, I expect them to be great!

Audiobook Review: Better Than Fiction by Alexa Martin

Title: Better Than Fiction
Author: Alexa Martin
Narrators: Nicole Lewis
Publisher: Berkley
Publication date: November 8, 2022
Print length: 384 pages
Audio length: 8 hours 47 minutes
Genre: Contemporary romance
Source: Purchased (paperback); library (audiobook)
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Love isn’t always by the books in this charming romantic comedy about a bookseller discovering how to be the main character in her story.

As a self-proclaimed book hater and a firm believer that the movie is always better, Drew Young didn’t anticipate inheriting her grandma’s bookstore, the Book Nook. She’s in way over her head even before the shop’s resident book club, comprising seven of the naughtiest old ladies ever, begin to do what they do best–meddle.

Bestselling author Jasper Williams is a hopeless romantic. When he meets Drew at his Book Nook signing event, he becomes determined to show her the beauty of reading. He curates a book bucket list in exchange for her help exploring the local Denver scene for his current manuscript. From river rafting to local restaurants, Drew begins to connect with Jasper in a way she only thought happened in fiction.

When messy family ties jeopardize the future of the Book Nook, Drew is caught between a bookshelf and a hard place. She’s reminded that real life isn’t always big dreams and sweeping romance. But Jasper is the plot twist she never saw coming and he’s writing a happily ever after just for them.

When I first encountered a recommendation for Better Than Fiction a couple of years ago, my initial reaction was “hard pass”. Why would I want to read about a main character who hates books? No thanks.

But then, on a recent visit to the Strand bookstore in New York, I gave into temptation and picked this up:

I knew I was taking a risk with a “blind date with a book”, but it was just so cute! And naturally, once I opened the wrapping and discovered that it was a book I didn’t think I wanted to read, I was hesitant… but that’s the thing about blind dates: Sometimes, you just see it through and hope for the best!

In this case, my blind date was a surprisingly great time! (Not that I’ve really been on blind dates IRL, but we all hear the horror stories). Better Than Fiction was a joyful, fast-paced read, and I enjoyed it way more than I expected to.

Because I tend to read romances as audiobooks, I borrowed the audio version of this one from the library, then used my paperback to bookmark and add sticky notes to places I wanted to remember. Win-win!

Okay, so the book itself: A year after her beloved grandmother Alice’s death, Drew has put her own plans and dreams on hold to keep Alice’s legacy alive. While some of Drew’s happiest memories are of time spent in the Book Nook, it was because of Alice and the time they spent together — not from a love of the books themselves

Drew herself is not a reader — from her perspective, why spend time on made-up stories when the real world has so much beauty in it? Her passion is the outdoors and nature photography, and she was just starting to make a name for herself and build her professional career when Alice’s death derailed all her plans. Drew feels an immense responsibility to make sure the Book Nook thrives, but she’s completely cut herself off from photography and her sources of joy in order to make it happen. On top of all that, she’s still reeling from Alice’s death and suffering grief that hasn’t eased with time — and her estranged father (who’s absolutely the worst) is making everything harder for her.

Luckily, Drew has a best friend, Elsie, in her corner, and unexpectedly reunites and forms a bond with her younger half-sister Daisy, who is nothing like her father (thank goodness). And then there’s the Dirty Birds — a group of seven older women whose book group focuses on romance novels, and who like nothing more than watching over Drew and trying to “fix” her life.

When the Dirty Birds arrange for bestselling romance author Jasper Williams to stop by the Book Nook for a signing, Drew is unimpressed… until he walks in the door and they get a good look at one another. Sparks fly. And while Drew isn’t looking for love or any sort of relationship, she and Jasper hit it off and seem drawn to one another right away. They make a deal: Drew will act as tour guide for Jasper, showing him some of her favorite outdoor destinations around Colorado as background for the new book he’s working on, and he’ll put together a list of books for Drew to read, paired with outings tied to the books, to help convince her that this reading thing is worth her time.

There are complications, of course, mainly related to the fate of the Book Nook and whether Jasper has been completely honest with Drew. Drew also learns that Alice’s intentions for her may have been different than what she originally thought, throwing her life plans into serious disarray.

As expected, there’s a third act major breakup, followed by the traditional grand gesture. Honestly, for once I’d like a contemporary romance that doesn’t follow this trajectory… but we have what we have. I thought the reasons for the breakup were a bit flimsy, and could have been worked out with some straightforward communication. (Poor communications in romance novels is a big peeve for me). Still, the grand gesture moment is charming, and there’s a very nice resolution to it all.

My only other real quibble with the book (and it’s fairly minor) is the reliance on slang like “obvi” and “def” (for definitely) that pops up throughout the book as part of Drew’s first-person narration. It may work better on the page, but in the audiobook, it sounds like a jarring wrong note. (Also, in one scene, she uses the word “cosign” — twice! — to mean agreeing with something, as in “‘She’s not wrong,’ Daisy cosigns…”, and I was not a fan!)

I really enjoyed the Colorado travel aspects of the story, and only wish there had been more of this. (Drew and Jasper go on three significant outings — more would have been even better!). Ditto re the reading list. Drew describes one or two of the books Jasper gives her to read (the first one sounds a lot like Daisy Jones & The Six), but doesn’t actually name them. I would have loved seeing Drew’s Reading List as an extra at the back of the book!

Narrator Nicole Lewis does a terrific job with the audiobook, really bringing Drew’s personality to life — from her innate sparkle to her grief and struggles, it all feels real and genuine.

Overall, I really enjoyed Better Than Fiction, which just goes to show that some blind dates can defy expectations and lead to good things!

Audiobook Review: Lil’s Bus Trip by Judy Leigh

Title: Lil’s Bus Trip
Author: Judy Leigh
Narrator: Julie Mullen
Publisher: Boldwood Books
Publication date: August 26, 2021
Print length: 350 pages
Audio length: 10 hours 36 minutes
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Purchased
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

From the USA Today bestselling author of Five French Hens and The Old Girls’ Network comes a story of the journey of a lifetime across Europe in pursuit of memories, love, and new adventures. It’s always a good time for a road trip…

When 82-year-old Lil decides to book herself, her 65-year-old daughter, Cassie, and her friend Maggie on a bus trip across Europe, she hopes for a little adventure to counteract the monotony of life.

Along with three members of the Salterley Tennis Club and the Jolly Weaver football team, whose ideas of a good time are rather different to Lil’s and strikingly at odds with each other’s, the merry band of travellers set out on their great adventure.

From moving moments on the beaches of Normandy, outrageous adventures in Amsterdam, to the beauty of Bruges and gastronomic delights of France, the holiday is just the tonic Lil, Maggie and Cassie needed.

And as the time approaches for them to head home, Lil makes an unexpected discovery – even in her advancing years, men are like buses – there isn’t one for ages then two come along at once. Is Lil ready to share her golden years, and can the ladies embrace the fresh starts that the trip has given them. Or is it just too late to change…

Judy Leigh’s books can be counted on to provide cheery scenarios, heart-warming encounters, and memorable (and often feisty) older women as the main characters — and Lil’s Bus Trip is yet another terrific listening experience!

Lil’s life is perfectly nice, if not exceptionally exciting. She lives in a pleasant senior community, has good friends, and is very close to her daughter Cassie, whom she’s raised on her own after becoming unexpectedly pregnant as an unwed teen. But couldn’t they both use a little adventure for a change?

When a friend from the local pub decides to organize and lead a European road trip, Lil decides it’s just what she and Cassie need. What’s more, Lil’s best friend and next-door neighbor Maggie is slowly suffocating from neglect, as her husband mainly ignores her and sits watching TV all day, so Lil practically forces her along as well. Joining them on their trip are a group of younger folks from a local football team, the pub owner and his elderly father, and a trio of snobs from the tennis club who insist they’re only interested in culture and intellectual pursuits.

As the trip gets underway, the group gets to experience both serious moments — such as the beaches of Normandy — as well as silly mishaps… like what happens when the three oldest members of the group order a brownie to go with their coffee in an Amsterdam coffeeshop.

There’s actually not a ton of plot to describe, other than the highlights of the road trip itself. And yet, there’s something so warm and delightful about this audiobook. I was apprehensive at the beginning about there being so many characters, but ultimately, the twelve people on the mini-bus are each developed over the course of the story, so that by the end, it feels like we’ve been hanging out with a group of our own friends.

The adventures on the road are lots of fun, and there are more serious moments too, as the various characters have opportunities to rethink their lives back home and come to terms with what they want (or don’t want). For Lil especially, it’s a chance to look back at a life lived on her own terms, but often lived alone, and consider whether it’s too late to take a chance on loving someone new.

The audiobook narrator rises to the challenge of voicing the twelve travelers, and bringing them all to distinct life… along with several other memorable people they meet along the way. For me, a jarring note was that the narrator adds in the vocal effects described… so if it’s stated that a character laughs, the narrator laughs… or coughs… or takes a deep breath. I find this approach a bit annoying, but I’m sure some listeners like that sort of thing. (Also, Cassie is a singer, and when she performs in the book, the narrator sings Cassie’s songs, rather than just reading the words. Again, whether you’ll enjoy this is a matter of taste and preference. She does a perfectly respectable job with the singing, but it’s not my cup of tea.)

Still, audio/narration preferences aside, I did really have a great time with this sweet story. Listening to Lil’s Bus Trip is the audiobook equivalent of a warm blanket and a cup of hot cocoa. It’s comforting and pleasant, not particularly dramatic, but so easy to sink into and enjoy.

This is now my 4th book by Judy Leigh, and it won’t be my last! Fortunately, she has a good-sized backlist for me to dig into while waiting for her next new release!

Audiobook Review: Life’s Too Short (The Friend Zone, #3) by Abby Jimenez

Title: Life’s Too Short
Series: The Friend Zone, #2
Author: Abby Jimenez
Narrators: Zachary Webber and Christine Lakin
Publisher: Forever
Publication date: April 6, 2021
Print length: 384 pages
Audio length: 9 hours 6 minutes
Genre: Contemporary romance
Source: Library
Rating:

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

A brilliant and touching romantic comedy about two polar opposites, one adorable dog, and living each day to its fullest.

When Vanessa Price quit her job to pursue her dream of traveling the globe, she wasn’t expecting to gain millions of YouTube followers who shared her joy of seizing every moment. For her, living each day to its fullest isn’t just a motto. Her mother and sister never saw the age of 30, and Vanessa doesn’t want to take anything for granted.

But after her half-sister suddenly leaves Vanessa in custody of her infant daughter, life goes from “daily adventure” to “next-level bad” (now with bonus baby vomit in hair). The last person Vanessa expects to show up offering help is the hot lawyer next door, Adrian Copeland. After all, she barely knows him. No one warned her that he was the Secret Baby Tamer or that she’d be spending a whole lot of time with him and his geriatric Chihuahua.

Now she’s feeling things she’s vowed not to feel. Because the only thing worse than falling for Adrian is finding a little hope for a future she may never see.

In Life’s Too Short, a crying baby brings a pair of strangers together in the middle of the night, changing both of their lives.

Vanessa Price has just been handed temporary custody of her troubled half-sister’s newborn baby, and is handling it fine… until the baby simply won’t stop crying. Her next-door neighbor, Adrian Copeland, shows up at her apartment door at 4 am offering to help. She’s suspicious… but she knows him by reputation, and she’s desperate enough to allow him in, hand him baby Grace, and go take a shower to calm down (and get the spit-up out of her hair). Lo and behold, the nonstop crying jag has ended by the time she gets out of the shower. An instant friendship is born.

Adrian is a successful, hard-driving criminal defense attorney who needs to be in control at all times. Vanessa is a free-wheeling YouTuber with a huge following, who’s spent the last few years sharing her worldwide travels. But Vanessa’s live-for-today approach has a darker underlying motivation — her mother and sister both had ALS and died young, and she’s trying to make the most of her own life before ALS catches up with her as well.

Adrian and Vanessa form an instant connection, and within days, they’re constantly in and out of each other’s apartments, sharing food, watching TV, caring for baby Grace, and become besties. Both are very clear that they’re not interested in dating or relationships… but we know where that’s going, right?

As the pair spend time together, they each develop strong feelings — as well as an intense attraction — but both assume that the other person isn’t interested in them that way. There’s a lot of time spent on false assumptions and faulty communication before they finally realize the truth of the matter.

I enjoyed the audiobook of Life’s Too Short, with narrators alternating to read chapters told from each character’s perspective. Both narrators do a great job conveying delivery and personalities, and they’re also terrific at pacing and providing humor.

Overall, though, I didn’t love Life’s Too Short as much as some of the author’s other books. First, there’s the communication issue, already mentioned. This is such a staple of contemporary romance novels, and honestly, it overdone. Adrian and Vanessa are both smart people who communicate for a living — yet they can’t get past their misinterpretations and inability to say what they mean or what they want. The misunderstanding phase of their relationship drags on way too long — and then there’s a phase two, once they’re together, about whether Adrian actually knows Vanessa’s health history and possible prognosis. This second phase of communication blunders leads to the major breakup phase of the book, but to me, it didn’t make sense that they ended up with this huge misunderstanding in the first place.

Second complaint: this book leans heavily into the trauma/drama that’s prevalent in so many of Abby Jimenez’s books. Not only is Vanessa dealing with the threat of ALS, mourning her deceased sister, and caring for an infant, but she’s also trying to deal with a father who’s a hoarder and push her half-sister (the baby’s mother) into rehab for her drug addiction. As for Adrian, his control issues stem from his father’s abandonment of the family when he was a child and the lingering fears and damage that’s caused him. It feels like these aspects overwhelm the love story at times, and could probably have been dialed back without losing the overarching emotional impact of the plot.

Finally, I felt that there was a level of emotional manipulation regarding Vanessa and whether she has the early symptoms of ALS. I won’t go into details, because that would be too spoilery, but by the end I felt very manipulated as a reader.

This may make it sounds like I didn’t enjoy Life’s Too Short at all, and that’s not actually the case. As in all Abby Jimenez books, the writing is crisp and funny and entertaining, and there are plenty of silly moments to lighten the mood. Sure, the male love interest is too perfect to possibly be a real human being, but that’s okay — it’s a nice fantasy to get to know a man who’s gorgeous, amazing with babies, successful, and always picks the perfect gift/date/adventure.

Life’s Too Short is considered the 3rd book in the Friend Zone trilogy, but apart from a very slight connection, it’s really more of a standalone. Adrian was introduced in a very minor way in The Happy Ever After Playlist, and characters from the other books show up briefly in Life’s Too Short — but someone picking up Life’s Too Short on its own would be perfectly fine and would not feel that they were missing anything.

I discovered Abby Jimenez’s books just this year, and have now read them all! While I may have quibbles about plot points and communication styles, overall, her books are zippy, engaging reads that include romance, humor, and deep emotional connection. She’s an excellent storyteller, and creates characters who feel like fully developed, living, breathing people.

The author’s next book, Say You’ll Remember Me, will be released in April 2025 — and I’ll be ready with grabby hands as soon as it’s available!

Audiobook Review: The Happy Ever After Playlist (The Friend Zone, #2) by Abby Jimenez

Title: The Happy Ever After Playlist
Series: The Friend Zone, #1
Author: Abby Jimenez
Narrators: Zachary Webber and Erin Mallon
Publisher: Forever
Publication date: April 14, 2020
Print length: 401 pages
Audio length: 9 hours 17 minutes
Genre: Contemporary romance
Source: Library
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

From the USA Today bestselling author of The Friend Zone comes a fresh romantic comedy full of “fierce humor and fiercer heart” about one trouble-making dog who brings together two perfect strangers. (Casey McQuiston, New York Times bestselling author of Red, White & Royal Blue)

Two years after losing her fiancé, Sloan Monroe still can’t seem to get her life back on track. But one trouble-making pup with a “take me home” look in his eyes is about to change everything. With her new pet by her side, Sloan finally starts to feel more like herself. Then, after weeks of unanswered texts, Tucker’s owner reaches out. He’s a musician on tour in Australia. And bottom line: He wants Tucker back.

Well, Sloan’s not about to give up her dog without a fight. But what if this Jason guy really loves Tucker? As their flirty texts turn into long calls, Sloan can’t deny a connection. Jason is hot and nice and funny. There’s no telling what could happen when they meet in person. The question is: With his music career on the rise, how long will Jason really stick around? And is it possible for Sloan to survive another heartbreak?

Dear Romance Writers:

PLEASE STOP MAKING CHARACTERS BREAK UP WITH THE PERSON THEY LOVE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD WITHOUT TELLING THEM WHY.

Phew. Glad I got that off my chest.

Moving on with my review… which includes unavoidable spoilers for The Friend Zone, so proceed with caution.

The Happy Ever After Playlist picks up two years after the events of The Friend Zone, moving the best friend from book #1 to center stage.

Sloan may not seem to be a prime candidate for a romance lead — her story in The Friend Zone (spoiler alert!) was a tragic one. Just one week before her wedding, Sloan’s fiancé was hit by a drunk driver while riding his motorcycle and eventually died.

As The Happy Ever After Playlist opens, Sloan thinks of her life as being in the “in between”. Since Brandon’s death, she’s stopped cooking, stopped painting original pieces (focusing instead on Etsy commissions for pieces such as astronaut cats), and basically just gets by. If not for best friend Kristen and her husband Josh, Sloan would barely even eat.

All that changes when Sloan heads to the cemetery to visit Brandon’s grave, and nearly hits a dog wandering on the road… who then jumps into her car through her sunroof. What’s Sloan to do? She takes him home, tries in vain to contact his owner, and after a couple of weeks, has settled into a happier sort of life with Tucker as company — until Tucker’s owner Jason finally returns Sloan’s many calls.

He’s a musician, has been working in Australia, but is now headed home and wants his dog back. After some initial resistance, Sloan agrees, but only if Jason proves he’s worthy. As Jason and Sloan banter via text and then phone calls, a spark of life comes back to Sloan. She’s having fun, she’s enjoying getting to know this random person, and (after seeing his picture), she thinks she might actually be open to meeting him… although only if they call it an appointment, not a date.

Needless to say, Sloan and Jason have amazing chemistry, and within days, are inseparable. As Sloan works through her complicated feelings about allowing herself to be open to attraction and possibly romance, Jason is beyond perfect, making clear his desire and interest, but only at her own pace and comfort level.

Things become even more complicated once Sloan shows Kristen a picture of Jason… and Kristen freaks out. Does Sloan even know who she’s kinda-sorta dating? That’s Jackson Waters, the recording artist behind the cover of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald**, the song Sloan listened to on repeat during the worst of her days of grief. Jason is poised for stardom, about to leave on tour, with a major record label promoting him and propelling him into the spotlight. But how can Jason leave when things are just getting started with Sloan, and how can Sloan fit into the high-pressure world of a world-famous rock star?

**And believe me, it makes me mad that the Jackson Waters version of this song (and its accompanying claymation music video) does not actually exist!!

The Happy Ever After Playlist is engaging right from the start, although in some ways, it feels like two (or possibly three) different stories smushed into one. At the beginning, it seems to be about Sloan allowing love back into her life, and that’s quite lovely to see. Her cautious first steps toward happiness turn into a running leap, once she and Jason start to connect on a deeper level. They realize almost instantly that what’s between them is the real thing.

Midway through the book, the storyline turns much more into the celebrity romance trope — how can an ordinary person fit into the world of fame and paparazzi and constant scrutiny, much less endless months on the road?

Jason and Sloan are worth rooting for, but it drives me mad (see my declaration at the start of this review) when one romantic partner makes a decision (usually a break-up) for what they perceive to be the good of the other person, without even telling them why or giving them the opportunity to discuss it. Of course, in a romance, this is the 3rd act big blowup when all seems lost, but we know (because romance) that it will all work out, and that there will likely be some amazing, over-the-top big moment to bring it all to a happy ever after. (There is).

I really did enjoy The Happy Ever After Playlist as a whole, but certain fights and then the breakup made me a little batty. If ever a situation calls for couples’ counseling, or at least a neutral third party, this is it. These two characters do not do a great job of talking to one another in crucial moments. Yay, they work it all out eventually, but the pain and suffering before they get there could have been avoided through actual communication.

As in The Friend Zone, the men in this second book are once again very manly indeed. Hunting, home improvement skills, and general outdoorsy-ness abound. Jason is a sensitive singer/songwriter/guitarist, but he’s also great with his hands (in all ways), can fix anything, and goes camping on remote islands for the fun of it.

Overall, The Happy Ever After Playlist is a great audiobook listen. Despite the plot points that bugged me, I never wanted to stop once I started listening, and the narrators do an excellent job bringing the characters to life and conveying their banter, humor, fights, and sorrows.

I will absolutely finish the trilogy, although based on the peek I took at the 3rd book’s synopsis, it seems to only have a very tangential connection to the first and second books. Still, I know what I’ll be listening to next!

Up next: Life’s Too Short

Audiobook Review: Drop Dead by Lily Chu

Title: Drop Dead
Author: Lily Chu
Narrators: Phillipa Soo & John Cho
Publisher: Audible Originals
Publication date: August 1, 2024
Print length: n/a
Audio length: 11 hours 25 minutes
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Source: Audible download
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

One mysterious mansion. Two rival journalists. Three weeks to uncover the story—and love—of a lifetime. Don’t miss this unforgettable romantic comedy performed by Phillipa Soo and John Cho!

Obituary writer Nadine Barbault doesn’t mind being called “Lady Death.” It suits the ice queen persona she’s cultivated to survive the fast-paced Toronto Herald. So when Nadine learns that famous (and reclusive) author Dot Voline has died, she doesn’t hesitate to run the obituary … only to discover that Dot is very much alive.

Nadine’s screw-up has brought Wesley Chen of the rival Spear no end of joy—she’s been a thorn in his extremely ambitious side for years. But the renewed interest in Dot also surfaces chatter about a mysterious past scandal. Intrigued, Wes goes to the source to learn more—only to discover Nadine had the exact same idea … and the infuriating woman isn’t willing to respect dibs. Typical.

At first, Dot refuses to speak to either of the squabbling pair, but then they receive an unusual request—work together, and Dot will share everything. The offer seems too good to be true … and of course, it is: in a bitter twist of irony, Dot dies for real before she can finish recounting her story. Not all is lost, however. The estate’s executor allows Wes and Nadine access to Dot’s sprawling wonderland of a mansion for three weeks to find their answer. That’s three weeks of working together … three weeks of endless sweltering in tight spaces … three weeks of learning there could be something more between them than a desire to win at any cost.

And maybe, just maybe, under the rubble of all those could-have-beens they’ll uncover more than the secret of Dot Voline’s long-ago scandal—and Lady Death will finally embrace what she’s wanted from life all along.

Lily Chu’s Audible Originals have become an annual treat for me. Drop Dead is her fourth audiobook, and once again, it’s a hit!

Smart and entertaining, Drop Dead features main characters who are ambitious rivals forced to work together to solve an irresistible mystery. Nadine and Wes met years ago in college, and since their very first journalism class together, they’ve been fierce competitors.

But now, ten years later, neither has quite the stellar career they’d expected. Nadine was a hotshot political reporter at The Herald, until death threats rattled her enough to make her ask for a safer beat, at least until she gets her nerve back. She’s the recently appointed obituary editor, mainly working from pre-written copy about noteworthy people. It’s not exciting… but it does keep the trolls away.

Meanwhile, Wes longs to join the investigative team over at The Spear, but instead, he’s passed over in favor of an obnoxious bro-type, and writes lifestyle pieces on topics such as perfect picnic pairings. It’s… nice, but definitely not what he wants to do.

After Nadine mistakenly publishes an obit for Dot Voline, a leading light in Canada’s literary world, her credibility is shot and she’s reassigned into an even less challenging position. She’s determined to redeem herself and tries to get an interview with Dot by showing up at her mansion’s gate, only to find Wes there, eager to capitalize on Nadine’s mistake and perhaps find a great story of his own.

Because amidst the furor over the obituary for an author who isn’t actually dead, there’s a tantalizing hint of something more — a few comments on the original obituary wondered why there was no mention of the old scandal tied to Dot’s first book. But neither Nadine nor Wes can find any online references to a scandal, and both sense that this could be the key to a breakout investigative piece with the potential to revitalize their careers.

Dot Valine is in her later years, clearly not well, but without having lost a bit of her eccentricity and flair. She eventually invites them in after a series of challenges and grants them small interviews, always hinting at something more to come. Her mansion is huge and over-the-top, with treasures and collectibles and oddities around every corner. Nadine and Wes plan to take advantage of every moment Dot will grant them, but sadly, after just a few weeks, they’re informed by her nephew that Dot has passed away — for real this time.

Still, their quest for a story isn’t over. Dot has stipulated that they can continue to have access to her home to try to get to the truth. The clock is ticking — the nephew can only give them three weeks, and then the mansion will be sold. To take full advantage of their limited time, Nadine and Wes decide to move into the mansion and work around the clock. Sure, neither loves the idea of having to spend so much time together, but it’s their only shot at uncovering the story that Dot so clearly wanted told.

What ensues is a good old-fashioned treasure hunt, practically a locked room mystery. No, they’re not literally locked in — but to fulfill their quest, they spend every moment in Dot’s mansion, poring through boxes of old papers, closets full of ballgowns, shelves of knickknacks and antiques and old books. They don’t know what they’re looking for, but they hope they’ll recognize what’s important once they find it.

The search is clever and the mystery around Dot’s secrets is intriguing. We don’t truly know what she’s hiding at the start. There are hints of an old political scandal, but nothing in Dot’s online presence or traceable history connects her in any way to politics. Still, she’s a larger than life character, and each new piece of writing that Nadine and Wes discover shows yet another facet of Dot’s personality.

As for Wes and Nadine’s rivalry and surface-level dislike, it’s obviously only a matter of time before the dynamic changes. Because as combative as they are toward one another, there’s also a grudging respect — after all, they were always the top two, battling for number one — as well as an even more reluctant attraction. Working together nonstop in such close proximity, they’re finally forced to hash out their differences and acknowledge that they’re enjoying this joint quest. Eventually, a budding friendship turns into more, and a surprisingly sweet romance begins to blossom.

Drop Dead gets off to a somewhat slow start, as we learn about Nadine and Wes’s stalled careers and challenging family dynamics. Once Dot Voline enters the picture, the plot comes into sharper focus. The search for Dot’s secrets is the driving storyline of this book, with the romantic elements built around the main mystery plotline.

Both elements work well. The deeper Wes and Nadine get into the dusty recesses of Dot’s mansion, the more fun their quest becomes. Clues come in unexpected forms, and seemingly stray notes or old clippings tantalize — Dot has intentionally sprinkled these clues throughout her home without leaving a road map to find them. As the pair unearth more clues, they become even more determined to see Dot’s quest through to the end and bring to light the story she wanted shared upon her death.

The love story is also engaging. Intimate scenes occur off the page, but we do see the flirtation and chemistry build, and it’s clear that the sparks are emotional as well as physical. I really appreciated how the author manages the characters’ realizations about their dynamics, as well as the way they hash out their past differences and figure out how to work together.

Finally, I’ll mention that for Nadine especially, Dot had an important lesson to teach. Through her time with Dot herself and then with the mementos Dot leaves for her to find, Nadine learns to start looking beyond the basics of a bio to understand a person’s impact, and finds purpose in writing stories that truly show who people are and why they matter. This aspect of Drop Dead is heart-warming without becoming saccharine — Nadine’s personal journey over the course of the story is delightful to see.

As with Lily Chu’s previous audiobooks, Drop Dead is narrated by the very talented Phillipa Soo, this time joined by co-narrator John Cho. They’re wonderful at voicing the characters and showing their humor and intelligence, as well as the great banter between them.

Drop Dead is currently available only through Audible. Her three previous novels were released the same way, and then released in paperback about a year later. I’ve loved each of Lily Chu’s audiobooks — The Comeback and The Stand-In are still my favorites, but Drop Dead is terrific as well. Don’t miss it!

Audiobook Review: The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Title: The Friend Zone
Series: The Friend Zone, #1
Author: Abby Jimenez
Narrators: Teddy Hamilton and Erin Mallon
Publisher: Forever
Publication date: June 11, 2019
Print length: 372 pages
Audio length: 9 hours 32 minutes
Genre: Contemporary romance
Source: Library
Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Kristen Petersen doesn’t do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don’t get her. She’s also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.

Planning her best friend’s wedding is bittersweet for Kristen—especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He’s funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he’d be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it’s harder and harder to keep him at arm’s length.

The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.

After loving Abby Jimenez’s Part of Your World trilogy, I knew I needed to go back and read her earlier books. The Friend Zone, the author’s debut novel, is a bit bumpier and less polished than her later books, but it definitely shows the heart and spirit that are such quintessential elements of her writing.

Kristen and Josh have a meet-cute that’s not particularly cute at all: He rear-ends her truck when she hits the brakes without warning. After a contentious exchange, they part ways, never expecting to see one another again… only to come face to face moments later at the fire station where he’s newly stationed.

Josh has moved to LA after a bad break-up back in North Dakota, joining his best friend Brandon at the fire house and hoping to get a fresh start. Brandon’s fiancée Sloan is Kristen’s best friend, so it was inevitable that Kristen and Josh would bump into one another… just maybe not quite so literally.

Putting aside their tension-filled first meeting, Josh ends up taking a temporary job doing carpentry work for Kristen’s home-based doggy supply business. Kristen’s lost-distance boyfriend Tyler is reaching the end of his military service and is due to move in with Kristen once he’s out, but she’s having serious second thoughts. Realizing that Josh is not only fun to be around but also very attractive, Kristen does whatever she can to keep him firmly in the “friend zone”, but there’s no denying that sparks are flying all over the place whenever she and Josh hang out.

Kristen’s life is further complicated by her health. Since her teens, she’s suffered with extreme cramping and heavy, nonstop periods caused by uterine fibroids, and has decided to go ahead with a hysterectomy, scheduled for a few weeks after Sloan and Brandon’s wedding. She knows this is the right choice for her — the only sure way to finally end the constant pain and anemia she’s dealt with for so many years.. But as she and Josh begin to acknowledge their deepening feelings, Kristen’s medical condition gives her yet another source of heartache: Josh comes from a huge family, and has talked frequently of his dream of having a huge family himself. How can she get involved with a man whose dreams so clearly don’t match her reality?

The Friend Zone pulled me in right from the start, although its initial upbeat vibe clashes later with the seriousness of Kristen’s pain and emotional distress. When the plot takes an unexpectedly tragic turn, it feels sort of like two entirely separate books got mashed together.

Parts are very good: I enjoyed the banter and developing connection between Josh and Kristen. Her tactics to keep him in the friend zone are decidedly goofy and quite fun to read about. Flipping between their two perspectives from chapter to chapter gives readers a chance to hear both sides of the story, understand why they act as they do, and see how their decisions and actions affect the other person, whose knowledge in different situations may be limited and missing key information.

Other parts drove me a bit batty. The men in The Friend Zone come across as ultra macho — either military or firefighters, gun owners, hunters, motorcycle riders. There’s a scene where Josh picks Kristen up and carries her over his shoulder to get her to talk to him… and that’s a big no for me.

As for Kristen, I was frustrated by her internalized beliefs. I understand that the author was trying to accurately portray the struggles and emotional distress of what Kristen experiences, but I still found it disturbing to hear Kristen continually think of herself as damaged and less than desirable because of her inability to have children. I might have appreciated hearing this internal dialogue more if it was coupled with therapy or some counterbalance to convey a healthier message. I get that we’re inside Kristen’s head and she’s holding onto unhealthy beliefs about herself, but at the same time, as a reader who’s dealt with fertility challenges, I think seeing Kristen confront these beliefs on the page would present a more well-rounded approach to the issue.

One romance trope that I particularly dislike is when a character makes a decision for the good of their love interest — often, ending a relationship — without actually discussing the situation with their partner. That trope is in full force in The Friend Zone, and it really bothered me. Kristen spends a good portion of the book making decisions that cause deep pain for her and Josh, but never talks with him about what’s going on. So much heartache could have been avoided if she’d been honest with him and trusted him to work through it with her.

Complaints aside, there are also elements that I loved, such as when Josh finally realizes that the way to reach past Kristen’s defenses and get her to hear him is through logic and facts. The way he does this is amazing, and I found it incredibly touching.

Overall, The Friend Zone captured and held my attention, and when the plot takes a turn in the latter part of the book, I could barely catch my breath.

A word to the wise: Proceed with caution if you’re listening to the audiobook! I was on the highway during rush hour when I got to the intensely emotional part of the book, and don’t recommend trying to navigate traffic while choked up and teary-eyed!

As I mentioned, The Friend Zone doesn’t come across as quite as polished as Abby Jimenez’s later books, but it still managed to draw me in and engage my emotions. With her signature mix of humor and traumatic situations and events, it’s a roller coaster ride with a beautiful love story at its heart.

I’m eager to continue the trilogy that starts with The Friend Zone. Next up: The Happy Ever After Playlist.

Caution: DO NOT READ THE SYNOPSIS FOR THE HAPPY EVER AFTER PLAYLIST BEFORE FINISHING THE FRIEND ZONE! I did, unfortunately, and got the spoiler of all spoilers for the major event in the 2nd half of The Friend Zone. Learn from my mistakes!