I had one of THOSE moments yesterday: I finished a review, proofread it for the third time, hit “publish”… and then immediately found a case of glaring apostrophe abuse — horror of horrors! Easily fixed, but what if I hadn’t caught it?

We all know that errors slip through no matter how diligent we are about proofreading. So here’s my question: If a goof slips by you, would you want to know? And in what circumstances?

Twice in the last few months, while visiting a blog for the first time, I’ve notice typos in pretty prominent places. In one case, the typo was an extra letter in one of the blog’s menu titles on the sidebar — something that every single visitor to the blog would see. In the second case, I saw a typo on a graphic that the blogger uses for a repeating feature. I thought about it, because I know some people get very touchy when they feel they’re being criticized. But I applied the “would I want to know?” yardstick, and decided that yes, if I had an error in a header on one of my pages, I would absolutely want to know so I could fix it. In both cases, I emailed the blog host privately and told her what I’d noticed (and made sure to express — honestly — that I really enjoyed visiting the blog and just wanted to help), and in both cases I got very nice responses along the lines of “Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t catch that, thank you so much!”

It got me thinking: When is it a good idea to let someone know about a problem on their blog? And when is it intrusive or offensive?

For me, applying the “would I want to know” approach, I can see a variety of answers, depending on the situation.

For a typo or spelling error in a blog title, page title, graphic, or something similarly prominent — yes, absolutely!

For a typo, punctuation problem, etc in the body of a blog post… well, maybe. It seems kind of embarrassing to have something like that pointed out. It was probably just a case of working too quickly, and it’s a minor detail. On the other hand, if I’d repeatedly gotten something wrong (like misspelling a character’s name over and over again), I’d probably like the chance to fix it, if it’s an important element.

For a missing image or a broken link — yes, absolutely! If something I’d intentionally included in a post stops working or connects to the wrong place, I’d love for someone to tell me. Again, easily fixable, so I’d imagine anyone would appreciate a heads-up on something like this.

“Annoying” or otherwise problematic layout issues — well, most likely not. Listen, I don’t really like certain looks on blogs, such as hard-to-read fonts, not enough or too much contrast between background and text, etc, but each blogger comes up with a look that works for him or her, and I would never second-guess someone else’s taste or style. I think I’d only want to know if something was causing technical glitches such as slow page loads or other such issues. Unless a blogger specifically asks (“hey, what do you think of my new design?” or “which color you do you prefer?”), it’s a no-win situation offering input on something as personal as the look of a blog. Kind of like telling someone you don’t like their hair style or the shirt they’re wearing. Unless the person (or blogger) is your bestie, it’s probably not going to go over well.

Factual errors — hmm, that’s a tough one. I suppose if I stated something that’s just out and out wrong (oh, like Stephen King is the author of A Game of Thrones or Anne Rice won the Nobel Prize), I’d appreciate some fact-checking. But there are a lot of shades of gray when it comes to “wrong”, and one person’s helpful hint might be someone else’s slap in the face.

What’s your take on the issue? When would you want a reader to let you know if they spot a goof on your blog — and when would it be unsolicited (and unwanted) meddling?

Have you ever contacted a blogger about an error? How was it received?

Share your thoughts, please!

I haven’t been able to shake a recent incident that relates to blogging, so I thought I’d write about it and see if anyone can help me find some new insights.

In a nutshell:

Within the last couple of weeks, I received an email from a blogger who I’d never encountered before (and whose blog I wasn’t familiar with). She was writing to say that she was thinking of starting a regular feature with the same name as something that I do, and wanted to know my thoughts. In fact, she asked if it would be okay with me.

I responded, and thanked her for contacting me. Since she’d asked (I said), I told her that I’d prefer if she didn’t do the exact same thing as I did, and said that since I did have this feature up and running, I’d love to have her join in. I mentioned my preferences, and added something that others have told me when I’ve reached out for an opinion: It’s your blog, so in the end you should do what works best for you.

I also — and perhaps here’s where I went wrong — mentioned that I have a book blog meme directory page. My impression was that she was interested in starting up a meme, and so I basically said, hey, if you’re interested, check this out — there are a lot of bloggers doing some pretty cool stuff, in case you want to see what’s already out there.

I closed with thanks — again — for contacting me.

And that was it. Do you see a problem yet? In case there’s any doubt, let me just say that I was sincere in saying that I thought it was nice of her to contact me — and since she’d asked my opinion, I didn’t see anything wrong with giving one. My intentions were all good, I swear.

And then…

I got an email back, and it was fairly awful. I was told that my email was condescending, that she’d been blogging for a lot longer than I had, that she was not impressed at all, that I didn’t seem to have as many followers as (it was implied) she does, and that she’d heard of all of the memes in my directory except mine. Furthermore, she told me, she hadn’t really needed to contact me to begin with and now she wishes she hadn’t.

I felt terrible. And completely misunderstood. And kind of attacked. And at the same time a teensy bit thankful that I’d made it almost to a year and a half as a blogger before getting an email that made me feel this lousy.

So, I wrote back. I told her that perhaps my intentions hadn’t been conveyed in my email — maybe my tone hadn’t carried through — and that I was sorry to have caused offense. I assured her that I did not feel condescending nor had I intended to sound that way, and also expressed confusion over what I had said that would be interpreted that way. I stated, again, that I respect her (and everybody’s) right to do whatever they want with their own blogs. I wrapped up by saying I wished her well and to please consider my email a peace offering.

… which she accepted, because I got a nicer email back which made me feel better, and left me feeling that the conflict had been resolved and the issue put to bed.

So why is it still eating away at me?

I recognize that perhaps I need a thicker skin. I take criticism personally. And I hate the idea of causing offense, particularly when absolutely none was intended.

I ran the string of emails by a trusted friend, who’s one of my go-to people when I need some honest critiquing. She didn’t see anything wrong with my original email, although she did point out that perhaps by suggesting the other blogger check out the meme directory, she might have taken it as me saying that she was a newbie or didn’t know what she was doing.

Okay, fair enough. I will say that I get contacted by people with questions about the directory several times a week. Sometimes the questions will be along the lines of “I’m thinking of starting a meme! How do I get listed?” and I’ll suggest that they look to see what’s already being done and how the listings appear, so they can try to come up with a fresh angle or a slightly different focus. And when I do refer people to the directory, I usually hear “thanks!” in reply.

But, okay, for someone who’s been blogging for a few years, maybe that came across as condescending.

Other than that, I guess I just don’t know exactly where I went wrong. It’s ironic, in a way, since in my work life, I often coach younger or less experienced workers on email etiquette, and we frequently discuss how tone doesn’t always come across in emails as intended. So short of using a smiley emoticon at the end of every sentence, I don’t know how I could have said what I said and made it clearer that I meant it all in a friendly spirit.

I’m probably belaboring the point and getting carried away… See what I mean? I take things personally and then have a hard time letting go.

But I think the reason this bothers me so much is that I place a huge value on kindness and respect. (Ask my kids — it’s kind of a mantra for me). If someone wants to say something mean to me, I guess I can just absorb it and move on. But it really upsets me to think that I came across as disrespectful or unkind to someone without realizing it.

So… where did I go wrong? Should I just have replied to the original email by saying “thanks” and “no worries, it’s all good”? I suppose I could have, but I was asked for my opinion, which is why I gave it. Was giving the referral to the meme directory the wrong thing to do? All of the above? None of the above?

To be clear, I’m not faulting the other person involved at all. The whole reason I’m writing this post in the first place — rather than working on an overdue book review! — is to better understand my role in all of this.

I’d love to know what you all think. Have you ever been in a situation as a blogger where an email or a comment of yours has been misconstrued? What would you have done in my situation? Do you think I should have taken a different approach? Do you think I’m worrying too much about it all? Feel free to tell me I’m being oversensitive and obsessive!

Thanks for listening! I promise that I’ve moved on… but I’d love to hear some comments.