Title: My Salty Mary
Series: Mary, #3
Authors: Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, Jodi Meadows
Narrator: Nneka Okoye
Publisher: HarperTeen
Publication date: August 20, 2024
Print length: 448 pages
Audiobook length: 10 hours 54 minutes
Genre: Young adult
Source: Purchased
Rating:
Perfect for fans of The Princess Bride and A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, New York Times bestselling authors Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows are back with a fantastical, romantical, and piratical historical fantasy remix that marries the story of The Little Mermaid with the life and times of infamous lady pirate Mary Read.
Don’t call this mermaid “little”—call her “captain,” unless you want to walk the plank.
Mary is in love with the so-called prince of Charles Town, except he doesn’t love her back. Which is inconvenient. Since she’s a mermaid, being brokenhearted means she’ll—poof!—turn into sea-foam.
But instead, Mary finds herself pulled out of the sea and up onto a pirate ship. To survive, she joins them. But Mary isn’t willing to just sing the yo-ho-hos. She wants the pirate life, all of it, and she’s ready to make a splash . . . by becoming captain. But when Blackbeard dies suddenly, Mary has a chance to become so much more: Pirate King . . . or Queen. She won’t let anyone stop her—not Blackbeard’s cute son, not her best friend from back under the sea who’s having a bit too much fun with his new legs, and certainly not everyone who says she can’t be a pirate just because she’s a girl.
She may not be the best man for the job, but she’ll definitely prove that she’s worth her salt.
Yo ho ho! The talented trio who gave us fresh, funny spins on the lives of Mary, Queen of Scots and Mary Shelley is back with an upside-down, inside-out story of infamous pirates Mary Read, Anne Bonny, Jack Rackham, and more! After loving the Janie series (about Lady Jane Grey, Charlotte Bronte and Jane Eyre, and Calamity Jane), I couldn’t resist reading the “Marys” this year. My Salty Mary delivers an entertaining retelling of historical figures… as a mash-up with The Little Mermaid! Who could say no to a premise like that?
As the story opens, the Little Mermaid (aka Mary) is heartbroken. She’s given up her tail to gain human legs and a shot at true love, thanks to a potion from the sea witch — but the man she saved from drowning and has sacrificed everything for is marrying someone else. She’s speechless — not because she gave up her voice in addition to her legs, but because she’s stunned. When her sister Karen (who lives up to the name) shows up, it’s to offer her a way out: Kill the guy and his bride and return to the sea as a mermaid once again… or don’t, and become sea foam when the sun rises, because that’s what happens when mermaids die.
Mary opts for sea foam and throws herself overboard… and is shocked to discover that she hasn’t died, but is, unfortunately, drowning. A passing ship pulls her in, where Mary finds herself aboard the Ranger, a pirate ship captained by the cruel Charles Vane. Captain aside, it’s a mighty fine ship and crew, and Mary finds a place to belong and thrive, although since women are considered bad luck on ships, she takes on the name Mark and hides her true identity.
It’s a pirate’s life for Mary! She rises from cabin boy to quartermaster over the next year, leading the crew on successful raids while Vance is too drunk to be of any use, and is fast friends with the ship’s navigator Toby, who just happens to be the youngest son of Blackbeard himself. When Blackbeard is reported dead, the pirate community holds a contest to name the new Pirate King. Mary, fighting for equal rites among pirates, is determined to win — even though Vance wants to expose her true identity as a woman, which would result not only in disqualification from the contest, but likely punishment (death) for “betraying” other pirates.
Mary is joined by her beloved cousin Jack, who also finds a way to shed his mer tail and walk around on human legs, and who loves human clothing and company more than actually, you know, pirating… but he’s willing to be a pirate (arrrgh!) to please his true love Anne Bonny, who is fierce and magnetic and demands to be taken seriously. With Jack (aka Calico Jack, aka Jack Rackham), Toby, and Anne by her side, Mary has staunch allies and stands a fighting chance, despite the steep opposition coming at them from the more traditional (i.e., misogynistic) pirates.
My Salty Mary is a rollicking adventure full of piratical adventure on the high seas — and some very funny scenes at the local tavern, where the elder statesmen of the pirate community (the AARP — Admirable Association of Retired Pirates), headed by Captains Hornigold, Morgan, and Hook, preside over the rowdy Pirate King competition, to the cheers of other notable pirate Captains — including Crunch, Obvious, Ahab, and Penzance. (It really helps to enjoy puns and corny jokes if you’re going to read this book — I personally found them all really endearing)
And they’d gained thirty-six men, among them a new cooper, which was great because they’d really been scraping the bottom of the barrel when they’d hired the old one.
The authors seem to be quite fond of Titanic references (for random examples, see My Contrary Mary… and yes, there really are Titanic references in a book about Mary, Queen of Scots). Here, the references are just as silly and fun:
“I’ll never let go, Jack! I’ll never let go!” Anne sobbed as Mary hauled her away from the rail.
… and …
“Do you remember the necklace we found that one time?” Mary asked out of the blue.
“Necklace?” Jack thought back. “Oh, the pretty, sparkly one with the big blue heart-shaped jewel? The one some idiot just tossed overboard from a ship?”
And if you were thinking it couldn’t get much sillier… well, a Ted Lasso stand-in, a TED Talk, and a shell phone (where you can play Crabby Crush) are just some of the bits and pieces thrown in amidst all the rum, hooks, and parrots.
The authors weave in some social messaging too — nothing too preachy, but we do get some more serious thoughts about equality for women, freedom to choose, and the rights of formerly enslaved people now living within the pirate community. Mary’s pitch to become Pirate Queen even includes a rallying cry for paid parental leave with job protection!
As with the rest of the books in both the Jane and Mary series, My Salty Mary is silly, over the top, very funny, and non-stop entertaining. I was perhaps a smidge less engaged here than with the other books. I didn’t quite connect with Mary as a person as much as I did with the main characters in the other books, and I would have liked a bit more mermaid life mixed in with all the pirate adventures. That’s okay, though — I still had a really good time!
The narration by Nneka Okoye is lively and dynamic, with terrific character voices (and lots of very effective pirate exclamations). She even sings a bit (during one of Captain Penzance’s performances, naturally). The pacing is terrific, and despite being a bit on the long side, the audiobook absolutely zips by.
I’m a bit sad to have reached the end of the Mary books. I haven’t heard anything (yet!) about the authors starting a new series… but we can hope!
Yo ho!
Interested in the Jane books? Check out:
And don’t miss the first two Marys:
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