Audiobook Review: Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

Posted in Book Reviews by Lisa @ Bookshelf Fantasies

Title: Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
Author: Matthew Perry
Narrator: Matthew Perry
Publisher: Flatiron Books
Publication date: November 1, 2022
Print length: 250 pages
Audio length: 8 hours, 49 minutes
Genre: Memoir
Source: Library
Rating:

“Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell—and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it—Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening—as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.

Reviewing a memoir often feels like a weirdly invasive endeavor. Who am I to praise or criticize the author? Sure, we can talk about how the book made us feel or what we think of of the writing, but a memoir is such a personal creation that it’s difficult to say much more than that.

In the case of Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, it’s an extraordinarily bizarre and uncomfortable experience to read this memoir — and especially, to listen to the audiobook narration by Matthew Perry himself — only a few short months after his tragic death.

As the synopsis shows, the opening lines of the book are eerie, and the following paragraph even more so:

If you like, you can consider what you’re about to read to be a message from the beyond, my beyond.

I was a big fan of Friends back in the day, and always adored Chandler. I knew very little about the actor behind the character, other than the gossip and scandals that cycled through the headlines over the decades — tales of addiction, destructive behavior, and rehab after rehab.

Here, in Matthew Perry’s memoir, we get a personal tour of his life, from childhood through his early 50s (just two years prior to his death) — and it’s profoundly sad in so many ways. Surprising too — I’d assumed that he was yet another example of someone destroyed by fame, but as we learn in this book, Perry’s drinking and addiction started many years before he became a break-out star.

Blending a recounting of his childhood and teens, his early years in the show biz industry, his phenomenal success in Friends, and beyond with interludes where we get uncomfortably up close and personal with the horrid details of the torment he inflicts on himself through his excessive use of drugs and alcohol, the memoir lets us inside his life and shows us the person behind the tabloid stories.

Perry comes across as smart, funny, and deeply wounded. His is a fascinating, tragic story told by someone living the addiction, and it’s not pretty (although he manages to inject his sense of humor even into the most harrowing of episodes).

I occasionally felt that it was all too much. I didn’t need to know quite that much about his ups and downs, the vast quantities of pills, the physical impact of his addictions, and his sex life. But then again, this is his truth that he’s sharing — as I said, it’s hard to criticize a memoir. Could he have toned it down or shared a bit less? Sure. But this is his story, and that’s what I signed up to experience.

I know he also got quite a bit of flak for some of his attempted jokes that fall flat in delivery, in particularly a passage where he laments the too-young deaths of brilliant talents like River Phoenix and Heath Ledger, then follows up by saying “but Keanu Reeves still walk among us.” And then repeats the Keanu Reeves line again later after talking about Chris Farley’s death. Dude, why do you have it in for Keanu Reeves? (Perry apparently apologized for this after the book came out and said the line would be removed from future editions… but it’s definitely there in the library book and audiobook I borrowed.)

I imagine that listening to this audiobook six months ago might have been a very different experience. Listening now, after Perry’s death, is truly like listening to a voice from beyond the grave. Every time he talks about barely surviving or how lucky he is not to be dead, it’s a shock.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an intimate look into the life and psyche of a complicated, troubled, unhealthy person who was also insanely talented, incredibly funny, and apparently, a person with a very loving heart. Hearing his voice sharing his story made me very sad for the loss of him as a person and as a talent. If only his next performance were still to come, rather than this book being his final good-bye.

I do recommend Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing. It’s sad and difficult, but I’m glad that Matthew Perry chose to share himself with the world in this way. We’ll never know what else he might have done.

27Jan2024

Audiobook Review: The Woman in Me by Britney Spears

Posted in Book Reviews by Lisa @ Bookshelf Fantasies

Title: The Woman in Me
Author: Britney Spears
Narrator: Michelle Williams
Publisher: Gallery Books
Publication date: October 24, 2023
Print length: 277 pages
Audio length: 5 hours, 31 minutes
Genre: Memoir
Source: Library
Rating:

The Woman in Me is a brave and astonishingly moving story about freedom, fame, motherhood, survival, faith, and hope.

In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history.

Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.

The Woman in Me needs little introduction — I can’t imagine there’s anyone unaware of Britney Spears and her deeply personal memoir, published in the fall of 2023.

In her memoir, Britney takes us through her childhood memories, her early years as a performer, and her rise to pop stardom. But as she describes so clearly and powerfully, there was an obsession with her — her body, her behavior, her sexuality — that plagued her from the start of her massive popularity, objectifying her in ways that are shocking yet sadly not terribly surprising.

A young woman of huge talent, she was subjected to endless questions about inappropriate topics — are her breasts real? is she a virgin? what did she do to poor Justin? — from a very young age, and in a way that was never applied to the male stars associated with her. The paparazzi hounding is scary, and as she explains her experiences having two babies within a year of one another, then being pressure to perform when she was still in the throes of post-partum exhaustion, it’s easy to see that this is a woman who was pushed to the edge.

Britney is candid about her struggles and mental health crises, but it’s also clear that she was never incapacitated to the extent that a permanent conservatorship would have been justified. As The Woman in Me makes perfectly plain, the same people who controlled Britney because she was supposedly incapable of managing her health, body, and finances profited hugely from her during the thirteen years of conservatorship — and it’s amazing to think about the fact that throughout all these years (again, while she was supposedly incapacitated), she performed in sold-out Las Vegas shows and world tours, released new material and new albums, and and made millions of dollars.

Britney reads a short introduction to the audiobook (explaining that it’s all too painful for her to narrate fully); Michelle Williams narrates the book itself, and does a very good job of conveying Britney’s words — so much so that I often forgot that I wasn’t listening to Britney herself. This can be a tough listen. There’s a lot of raw honesty here, and the manipulation, abuse, sexism, and outright misogyny inflicted on Britney is awful to hear about, even while most of it isn’t new, considering how much media coverage (and gossip) the star has always generated.

The Woman in Me is a powerful, emotional book, and I applaud the author for sharing so much of herself. After years of being controlled — physically, emotionally, financially — it’s wonderful to see her taking back her own power and her own voice. All I can say is — I wish Britney Spears joy and health, whatever she decides to do next… and hope the world will someday finally realize how poisonous the media and paparazzi frenzy can become, especially for young women.

A final note: After finishing The Woman in Me, I watched the New York Times documentary Framing Britney Spears (available to stream via Hulu). The documentary was produced prior to the end of the conservatorship, and there’s a follow-up (Controlling Britney Spears) that I have not watched yet. It was interesting to watch, especially for the sake of seeing archival footage of some of the interviews, performances, and incidents that Britney describes in the book.

(Around the same time the NYT documentary was released, a Netflix documentary (Britney vs. Spears) was also released. This one has pretty harsh reviews and seems to be consider exploitative. I haven’t watched it, but I believe this is the documentary that Britney is upset by in her book, as it involves people she’d confided in spilling secrets and private correspondence, among other betrayals. (Again, I haven’t watched it, so I’m basing this on reviews and commentary by those who have). )

26Oct2023

Audiobook Review: Me by Elton John

Posted in Book Reviews by Lisa @ Bookshelf Fantasies

Title: Me
Author: Elton John
Narrators: Elton John & Taron Egerton
Publisher: Henry Holt & Company
Publication date: October 15, 2019
Print length: 374 pages
Audio length: 12 hours, 28 minutes
Genre: Memoir
Source: Purchased
Rating:

In his only official autobiography, music icon Elton John writes about his extraordinary life, which is also the subject of the film Rocketman.

Christened Reginald Dwight, he was a shy boy with Buddy Holly glasses who grew up in the London suburb of Pinner and dreamed of becoming a pop star. By the age of twenty-three, he was on his first tour of America, facing an astonished audience in his tight silver hotpants, bare legs and a T-shirt with ROCK AND ROLL emblazoned across it in sequins. Elton John had arrived and the music world would never be the same again.

His life has been full of drama, from the early rejection of his work with song-writing partner Bernie Taupin to spinning out of control as a chart-topping superstar; from half-heartedly trying to drown himself in his LA swimming pool to disco-dancing with the Queen; from friendships with John Lennon, Freddie Mercury and George Michael to setting up his AIDS Foundation. All the while, Elton was hiding a drug addiction that would grip him for over a decade.

In Me Elton also writes about getting clean and changing his life, about finding love with David Furnish and becoming a father.

In some ways, I feel like Elton John has been in the background of most of my life. I remember listening to Good-bye, Yellow Brick Road, Philadelphia Freedom, Crocodile Rock, and more throughout my younger days. And who can forget the media fascination with his costumes and those huge glasses?

Still, I never particularly knew much about Elton John’s life, other than the glimpses provided in celebrity news over the years — first the glamour of his huge star status and all the rich and famous people in his social circle; later, the more grown-up version who sang at Princess Diana’s funeral and raised money for important causes.

Now, having read Me, I finally feel like I know more, and I’m so glad that I do. In his memoir, Elton is honest, funny, and frank. He’s not out to make himself look good or to put on a false front — he writes about his career triumphs, but also about his addictions, his fears, and his problems across the years. As a whole, Me is a look at a remarkable talent, his origins, his growth, and his impact.

As the book follows Elton’s life, mostly (but not always) chronologically, we learn about his childhood, his early interest in music and the major musical influences that inspired him, the struggle to make music into a viable career, and then the absolutely fortuitous circumstance that led to his partnership with Bernie Taupin. Together, the two wrote hit after hit, catapulting Elton into a level of superstardom that’s never really faded.

The memoir details the exhilarating elements of sudden fame — traveling by chartered plane, the parties, the limitless spending, the sex and cocaine — but also clearly shows how out of control his life became, until finally rehab and sobriety were the only options left. We’re also treated to his romance with his husband, after years of shallow relationships, and their road to parenthood.

Me isn’t all drama and tragedy by any means — there are some very, very funny stories in there, including being ultra-catty with Rod Stewart, as well as bittersweet memories of a strong friendship with John Lennon, and then the devastation of his loss. Elton speaks lovingly of his close friendship (and musical appreciation for) Freddie Mercury, and is practically reverential toward some of his musical heroes, such as Aretha Franklin and Leon Russell.

Elton is frank when it comes to showing himself at his worst — the drugs, the extravagance, the flings — but actually quite respectful toward those he’s had falling-outs with. When friendships or professional relationships disappoint, he describes what happens, but by no means engages in pettiness or tries to tear other people down.

The audiobook is mainly narrated by actor Taron Egerton, who plays Elton John in the movie Rocketman (which I haven’t seen yet, but absolutely want to), and Elton John himself narrates the opening and closing chapters. While it’s fun to hear Elton’s voice in these chapters, it’s actually much easier to listen to the rest of the book with Taron Egerton narrating, as his diction and speaking style is much crisper and easier to take in.

If you’re at all interested in Elton John’s life and career, then I highly recommend checking out his memoir. It’s warm, open, and above all, very entertaining. I found myself really moved in parts, and laughing out loud in others. Overall, Me gave me insight into a fascinating person, someone’s whose image I was familiar with, but whose life I knew next to nothing about. A terrific listening experience.

7Jan2023

Audiobook Review: Beyond the Wand: The Magic & Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard by Tom Felton

Posted in Book Reviews by Lisa @ Bookshelf Fantasies

Title: Beyond the Wand: The Magic & Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard
Author: Tom Felton
Narrator: Tom Felton
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: October 18, 2022
Print length: 286 pages
Audio length: 6 hours, 36 minutes
Genre: Memoir
Source: Library
Rating:

They called for a break, and Gambon magicked up a cigarette from out of his beard. He and I were often to be found outside the stage door, having ‘a breath of fresh air’, as we referred to it. There would be painters and plasterers and chippies and sparks, and among them all would be me and Dumbledore having a crafty cigarette.

From Borrower to wizard, Tom Felton’s adolescence was anything but ordinary. His early rise to fame saw him catapulted into the limelight aged just twelve when he landed the iconic role of Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films.

Speaking with candour and his own trademark humour, Tom shares his experience of growing up on screen and as part of the wizarding world for the very first time. He tells all about his big break, what filming was really like and the lasting friendships he made during ten years as part of the franchise, as well as the highs and lows of fame and the reality of navigating adult life after filming finished.

Prepare to meet a real-life wizard.

Draco speaks!

In Beyond the Wand, actor Tom Felton shares stories from his early childhood, the Potter years, and beyond. Unlike some of the seriously dire and disturbing celebrity memoirs of the past year, Beyond the Wand is a mostly upbeat, light-hearted romp through the life of an actor whose professional work will forever be defined by the sneering Slytherin he portrayed so well.

Significantly younger than his three older brothers, Tom grew up with a healthy dose of love and fun, but also humility — his brothers were always happy to cut him down to size before celebrity could go to his head. After roles in two smaller films, Tom’s life changed forever when he was cast as Draco Malfoy… without ever having read the Harry Potter books. (His description of the audition scene, where he had to fake knowledge of the story — and failed — is very funny).

His descriptions of the early years of filming are sweet, humorous, and eye-opening. There’s nothing scandalous here, don’t worry! Tom shares stories of on-set experiences, filming challenges, and lots of fun little stories — for example, his grandfather, acting as Tom’s required on-set chaperone, had such an impressive white beard that director Chris Columbus ended up casting him as a Hogwarts professor!

Because Draco was a lower-profile character than the big three of Harry, Hermione, and Ron, Tom’s profile as a star was somewhat lower-key as well. And because he had fewer scenes over all, he was able to continue attending his Muggle school in between filming, which he credits with enabling him to have a semi-normal childhood. Yes, he had a lead role in one of the biggest movie franchises ever, but he also had regular school, friends, and older brothers to keep him grounded (and occasionally get him into trouble as well).

The tone of Beyond the Wand is light and funny. Listening to the audiobook is a pleasure — he narrates his own story, and speaks it all as if he were hanging out with you and telling stories. It feels accessible and personal, and he injects a sense of fun into it all.

One of the elements I really appreciated in Beyond the Wand was Tom’s depiction of the older cast of Harry Potter and their influence on him and his child co-stars. As he describes, walking onto set as a 12-year-old, he had no idea of the stature of the adult cast members. And yet, over time, he came to realize just how fortunate he was to act alongside actors such as Richard Harris, Maggie Smith, and Alan Rickman. He shares plenty of lovely anecdotes about their interactions with the children, their influence, and their generosity, and he also pays loving tribute to the cast members no longer with us, which is quite touching.

It’s only in the last couple of chapters that we get to anything darker, as he describes his post-Potter Hollywood years, his sense of loss of direction, a brief period of alcohol abuse, and struggles with mental health. The focus is mostly on the positive, though — on the importance of being able to get help without shame, and the value he’s found in seeking treatment when needed.

Other than those chapters, the tone is very fun and full of larks, and overall, Beyond the Wand is a really enjoyable listen. Even for huge Potter fans, there are plenty of behind-the-scenes tidbits shared here that will be new and fresh. (Nothing scandalous — it’s all good fun, with a sense of Tom’s enjoyment at being a bit of a rascal.)

This would be a great gift for any adult who grew up on Potter. Tom Felton presents his story with humor and modesty, as well as deep appreciation for the experiences he’s had and the people he’s worked with. He comes across as very human and not overly impressed with his own celebrity — it’s a friendly, chummy memoir about a boy who ended up following a very unusual path. Lots of fun — definitely recommended.

14Oct2022

Audiobook Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Posted in Book Reviews by Lisa @ Bookshelf Fantasies

Title: I’m Glad My Mom Died
Author: Jennette McCurdy
Narrator: Jennette McCurdy
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Publication date: August 9, 2022
Print length: 320 pages
Audio length: 6 hours, 26 minutes
Genre: Memoir
Source: Library
Rating:

A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

My kids and I spent countless hours watching iCarly, and we always loved that crazy Sam character, with her wild antics and silly schemes and out-there sense of humor. But now, having read Jennette McCurdy’s painful, raw memoir, I don’t think I could ever watch iCarly in quite the same way again.

The Goodreads synopsis (above) doesn’t really do justice to this book — if anything, it goes light on the depths of abuse and trauma portrayed through Jennette’s story. There’s very little here I’d describe as “hilarious” — and the “joy of shampooing your own hair”? Please. As we find out in the book, she was not allowed to shower on her own until late in her teens. There’s nothing joyful about it.

From an absurdly young age, Jennette was conditioned to make her mother’s happiness the absolute focus of her life. From the annual family ritual of watching an old video of her mother’s dying message to her kids (from an earlier bout with cancer, which she survived for another 20 years or so) to her mother’s emotional meltdowns if Jennette voiced her desire to quit acting, the mother’s narcissism and need to be in control was the dominant influence in the family’s lives.

As she describes so meticulously and painfully, every aspect of her life and career was dictated by her mother’s wishes and need for the spotlight, even if only available vicariously through her daughter. Jennette’s preferences didn’t matter. She was forced into auditions, acting classes, hours of dance lessons per week, and the pursuit of any other skill that casting directors might want. In one anecdote, she relates that after not getting cast for a part that required bouncing on a pogo stick, her mother immediately bought a pogo stick and forced her to practice on it in their backyard until she could get to a bazillion bounces in a row. Anything in pursuit of fame and success.

Much more dire than the endless lessons and “beauty” treatments is the eating disorder. As she began developing breasts on the cusp of puberty, Jennette’s mother offered to help her stay childlike (and therefore, more castable) by teaching her about “calorie restriction”. Essentially, the mother taught her own child how to be anorexic.

In addition to the severely unhealthy mother-daughter relationship, further trauma was inflicted by the toxic working conditions on the Nickelodeon set, in particular in regard to the man referred to in the book as “The Creator”, whose behavior paints him as creepy, emotionally abusive, and invasive — as well as being the person who gave the very young actress her first taste of alcohol.

I listened to the audiobook, narrated by the author, and I have to be honest, it’s a very tough listen. Jennette McCurdy’s delivery is full of personality, and she certainly knows how to use her voice to evoke and portray emotion — but the story she tells is so gut-wrenching that it can be really hard to hear. Somehow, listening to her voice her own story makes it that much more painful — it feels very personal and real.

I’m Glad My Mom Died has a provocative and controversial title, but I think her point is very well articulated through her writing. She examines how there’s a whole culture built up around putting mothers on pedestals, and how incredibly difficult it can be for someone with an abusive mother to understand that she wasn’t perfect, and that she was in fact responsible for so much of the trauma in her child’s life.

As I’ve said, this book is not easy. While there are some funny moments, and the actress’s trademark deadpan delivery can be really offbeat and startle a laugh out of the listener, it’s overall quite serious and heartbreaking. As well as the emotional, mental, and physical abuse, there are very frank discussions of eating disorders and addiction, so readers for whom those topics are triggering may want to consider whether this is the right choice for them.

Overall, I’m Glad My Mom Died is a strong, deeply sad memoir, told with honestly and blistering forthrightness. It’s uplifting to learn how far the author has come in her personal growth and recovery, but that doesn’t change the harrowing truths about her childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. Jennette McCurdy bravely shares her truth in this book and makes a lasting impression.