A word from my reluctant reader

“Mom, it’s not that I can’t read. I just prefer not to.”

Courtesy of my 9-year-old. Proof that being an insatiable reader isn’t genetic after all.

My aha moment

I’m not talking about the 80s pop band, famous for Take On Me. (Dammit! Now it’s stuck in my head!)

And until I just did a quick Google search, I had no idea that Oprah has somehow cornered the market on “aha”, turning it into something very likely trademarked if written with the appropriate punctuation and capitalization.

I’m talking epiphany here, as in “Eureka! I’ve found it!” Or in my case — “OMG, I finally figured it out!”

e·piph·a·ny

a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

(Thank you, Dictionary.com!)

For the past year or so, I’ve been complaining about the lighting in my house. When I’m ready to read, I move lamps, angle light bulbs just so, or burrow into corners of the couch where the overhead illumination shines perfectly on my page. And wouldn’t you know it? It’s just never quite right.

Suddenly, a few weeks ago, it finally hit me. Maybe it’s not the lighting. Maybe — gasp — it’s my eyes. Sure, I should have caught a clue sooner. Perhaps all that squinting at the teeny, tiny print on my IPhone should have woken me up to the cold hard facts.

The solution was staring me in the face, as it were:

Behold, my very first pair of reading glasses! I swear, it was like being struck by a bolt of lightning when I put them on for the first time. My house wasn’t poorly lit after all. Hallelujah! The letters on the page had sharp edges, like little tiny razor blades. The print was practically glowing, it was such a beautiful sight!

It’s love, I swear it. These babies come with me wherever I go. I love them so much, I might marry them. And, I must say, I think I look pretty good when I rock my new specs. To paraphrase the Doctor’s wise words about fezzes, “Reading glasses are cool.”

I haven’t felt this enlightened since the day I realized that I needed HDMI cables in order to get a high def picture on my giant HDTV. (I’m embarrassed to admit that I had said TV for almost a year before that particular epiphany hit me.)

So my bursts of insight come to me in their own sweet time. So my epiphanies aren’t exactly earth-shaking. I’m okay with that. My new reading glasses rock my world, and considering how many hours a day, a week, a year I spend with my nose buried in a book, that’s really a life-changing “aha”!

When worlds collide, part 2

What’s on my mind this week? The two book-ish happenings that really got me thinking in the past couple of days were:

  1. Finished reading Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness
  2. Jumped up and down after hearing that Outlander might, just might, be made into a TV series or mini-series.

… which led me to this:

Outlander vs Shadow of Night — compare and contrast!

Teensy disclaimer: I’m not taking this too seriously, and neither should you. But just for fun, I started my own little list of the various ways SON made me think of OL. (Keep up with the acronyms, OK? We’re too busy here to keep typing out the full book titles.) I started meandering down this random path early on in SON, when I began chuckling over Diana’s soul-deep shock over discovering what being a woman in the 16th century really felt like. As a historian professor, she thought she was prepared, but boy, is there a difference between knowing information and living it!

Diana’s experiences made me think immediately of Claire Beauchamp Randall of Outlander, who was rudely thrust back in time and just had to deal with it, no warning, no preparation, no nothing.

With that in mind, here goes — a quick OL/SON primer (minor spoilers, so beware!):

Claire (Outlander)
Diana (Shadow of Night)
Degree MD PhD
Belongs in 1946 2009
Travels back in time About 200 years About 400 years
Anything fishy? Accused of being a witch Actually is a witch
Challenges Learning how to dress appropriately Ditto
Learning a woman’s place Ditto
Being criticized for speaking her mind Ditto
Treated with respect by those she meets? Relevant quote: “There seemed to be some question as whether the lady was or was not a whore.” Relevant quote: “I had no idea there was a brothel in Woodstock that specialized in over-tall women. Most of your whores are more delicate and appealing.”
Love interest Taller than average, remarkably good-looking Scot Taller than average, remarkably good-looking vampire
Lover’s talents Leader of men, warrior, has a gift for languages Leader of men, warrior, has a gift for languages
Lover’s connections Historical connections include Bonnie Prince Charlie, King Louis, Governor Tryon, and many more Historical connections include William Raleigh, Christopher Marlowe, Queen Elizabeth, and many more
Royal interest Bedded by Louis XV, King of France Pursued by Rudolf II of Prague, Holy Roman Emperor
Ability to time travel Genetic inheritance Genetic inheritance
Ease of time travel Painful and scary, but it can be done Difficult and requires great concentration, but it can be done
Scary witches? Geillis Duncan, murderous and crazy Satu, Peter Knox, and a host of others, murderous and fanatical
Must stand up to Colum MacKenzie, clan chieftain, a fearsome and exceedingly smart leader Phillipe de Clermont, patriarch, a fearsome and exceedingly smart leader
Endures time displacement in order to be with the love of her life? Anything for Jamie! Anything for Matthew!

There you have it in a nutshell, the trials and tribulations of Claire and Diana, two well-educated modern women who move through time, endure hardships galore and suffer countless fashion outrages, all in the name of love.

What did I miss? Add your thoughts!

PS – I seem to be formatting-challenged today. Don’t know why my cute little table has weird shading, and can’t make it go away. Yikes. Will try to be prettier next time.

Dear Kindle: The break-up

Dear Kindle,

Believe me, this is just as hard for me to say as it is for you to hear. There’s no easy way to put this, so I’ll just come right out with it. I don’t think this relationship is going to work.

You can’t say that I haven’t tried. It’s been over a year, and I’ve really made an effort. But maybe we both just need to acknowledge that we’re not right for one another.

Listen, I see the good in you, really I do. You’re beautiful. No really, I mean it. You keep yourself in terrific condition. You’d never allow a wrinkle or bulge to mar your perfect good looks.

You’re modern, keeping up with the latest technology. You’re witty and versatile. You always manage to come up with a new topic to explore, a laugh on a rainy day, or some new and unusual facts to share. And when my interest starts to fade, you’ve got a whole list of fresh ideas to try out.

But here’s where we need to face the truth. You just don’t meet my long-term needs.

You’re cold and hard, and I crave softness. I yearn for the yielding touch that I knew in my previous relationships. The willingness to be molded by my hands and my caress — that’s what I truly miss.

You’re too secretive. Why the blank looks, the reluctance to let others know what’s on your mind? In my previous relationships, my partners weren’t ashamed to let the world see who they were, to proclaim their names openly, to be proud of being seen together. I need that kind of openness in a relationship, to be able to share my special someone with the world.

And the last straw? You misled me. You, with your percents, never giving me a straight answer. I’ve never gotten over that fiasco with A Clash of Kings. News flash: Telling me 93% is not the same thing as “Hey, last chapter here! Pay attention!” No, the appendix does not count, even if it does take up 40 pages. Look, let’s not rehash the past. We’ll never see eye to eye on this one, but frankly, after the way you let me down, I just don’t have the energy to discuss it any more.

This isn’t good-bye forever. I just think we should take a break. Maybe a committed relationship was too much to expect. But hey, next time I’m planning a weekend getaway, I’ll definitely look you up. As a travel partner, you’ve really been first-class, and I’ll always appreciate those special times we had.

We’ll always have Paris.

Love,

Me

Don’t bother me. I’m reading.

Are reading and being part of a social unit mutually exclusive?

Why is it that I feel the need to sneak in order to satisfy my reading desires?

I’ve often said that if I didn’t have a husband and kids, I would be most naturally inclined toward the life of a hermit. I can see it now — holed up for hours in my house, just me, a pair of fuzzy slippers, a steaming mug of coffee, and piles and piles of books. I’d come up for air occasionally — hit the kitchen, grab a snack, take a bathroom break — then dive back into the pages of whatever novel happens to be my obsession at the moment. If it’s a sunny day, maybe I’d even take my mug, slippers, and book out on the back porch for a change of scenery and a breath of fresh air. Doesn’t sound half bad, if you ask me.

And yet… I’m a mom, I’m part of a family, and I love all my various and sundry people like crazy. But, for realz, there just aren’t enough hours in a day for work, kid time, homework time, play time, couple time, house time — the list is endless. So where does that leave me and my piles of books?

Consider this scenario from a recent vacation: My husband, son, and I were on a lovely camping trip, and decided to spend the day by the nearby lake. Hubby and kid wanted to rent a motorboat; I most emphatically do not do boats. So off they went, and I spent a very enjoyable hour on our picnic blanket, novel in hand, sun on my face, blissfully reading and relaxing. When they returned, my son’s first comment to me was, “Mom! You’re on vacation! Everyone else here is having fun, and you’re just sitting there reading a book!” It pained me to have to explain to my own flesh and blood that, hey, this is my idea of fun!

And so, I sneak. When I wake up on a weekend morning, I grab my book and read a quick chapter before getting out of bed and joining the family. When my son decides to work on his latest video game, off I head with my book. When he gets in the shower at night, out the book comes again. It’s not until we’ve finished up the bedtime rituals and the kid is safely ensconced in slumber for the night that I can sit down publicly in my own house, put up my feet, and enter my reading zone. No sneaking required.

I wish I could put up a Do Not Disturb sign every now and then, and declare myself temporarily off-limits. When the lights are flashing, do not approach mom! My pleas for “five more minutes”, “let me finish my chapter”, or “wait! I’m at a good part!” would be a thing of the past.

I’m a good mother, try to be a good spouse, but honestly, would a little more time to read hurt anybody? Never mind, don’t answer that.

Hello world!

So. Here I am. Doing what I’ve been threatening to do for years. Starting a blog.

Because the world needs another blog, right? Especially another blog about books — not nearly enough of those, am I right again?

Why Bookshelf Fantasies? Because I have been fantasizing about owning the bookshelves of my dreams for longer than I can say, and perhaps, just perhaps, it’ll happen in the near future. My house is filled to bursting with piles, bags, heaps, mountains, stacks of books. I buy them when I feel the impulse, when I stumble across a used copy of something I’ve always wanted, when a new book comes out that I just can’t wait to read… and they accumulate and accumulate, without end.

In my dreams, I have built-in, wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling shelves, and I spend countless hours arranging my books, changing my methodology to suit my latest inspiration. In reality? Still in bags and piles. And they keep coming.

The purpose of Bookshelf Fantasies is two-fold:

1) To chronicle my never-ending struggle to create order out of chaos. In other words, let’s get those damned shelves finally!

2) To chat about what I’m reading, what I’m excited about reading, and all topics book-related in general.

So, join me! Let me know what you’re reading and what’s up next.

As for me:

I’m about 200 pages into Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness (sequel to A Discovery of Witches). A bit of a slow start, but now I’m hooked. I’ll be back with more to say once I’ve finished.

Up next: Talulla Rising by Glen Duncan.

Witches, vampires, and werewolves! It’s gonna be a good week.